November 3rd, 2011
Question:
my five year old boy has been hitting, pushing and not listening in school. We had a child 5 months ago and we also have an 8 year old boy. Prior to the birth of my son, my 5 year old never had issues with friends or at school. His teachers said he never wanted to be in trouble, he listened and was very loving. Now, however, he doesnt do what he is told and he sometimes pushes kids etc.
Nothing he does is violent to the point of another child getting hurt, but nevertheless disruptive and rude. I have started giving him much more attention etc and also have punished. My head is spinning because nothing seems to be working. He has had days of good behavior, but the naughty days are outweighing the good ones.
anyone have any advice? it seems so simple, discipline and he’ll change. but he acts like he could care less!!! One thing to note, he loves his baby brother and is so good to him. He has never acted angry towards the baby at all – quite the opposite.
natalie c – you obviously dont have children. only a moron would reply the way you did. not appreciated
Posted in Discipline Advice | 6 Comments »
October 29th, 2011
Question:
My 14 year old step-son was caught selling pills (he had between 5 and 10 pills in his possession) at school. He’s expelled, and has to go to an “alternative school” next year.
We have a meeting next week with a Juvenile Officer to determine where to go from here. They said they will decide what to do based on “what’s best for the child and the community”.
What possible legal consequences are there for a minor (first offense) who was caught possessing and distributing on school grounds?
I’m not looking for advice on how to discipline him for this, just what possible legal stuff we’re going to have to deal with.
Thanks!
Posted in Discipline Advice | 5 Comments »
October 25th, 2011
Question:
I need input: she says I yell at her when I use my stern voice to correct her. In our home, there are rules and consequences for not following them. For instance, losing the cellphone if grades drop, or losing the Wii or computer privileges for not cleaning her room, etc. She visits w/her biological dad every other weekend and so, he’s the “fun” dad since he takes her to the movies and out to eat, etc. but does nothing as far as discipline or schoolwork/school activities, etc. He shows no interest in any of that and leaves that up to us. Once she gets home, I automatically become the strict step-dad. My wife & I also have 2 younger children and treat them all fairly & equally but no matter what I do, she’s not happy.
Before she met me, there were no rules, no punishment and at 4 years old, she basically did whatever she wanted without consequences from her parents. So I could understand how it looked to her, here I come in her life and set rules and boundaries and expect them to be followed.
I’m not strict 100% of the time, I’m actually strict about 10% of the time but when one of the kids has to be corrected, they’re gonna be corrected. She used to roll her eyes and talk back to us but thankfully, that has changed over the years. My biggest fear is that she will be 18 and have this horrible story that I ruined her childhood because she saw me as the step-dad from hell that “always yelled at her”. When all I’m really doing is correcting her. Of course, I praise her when she does well, I participate at her school activities and even coach her teams. She is MY daughter as far as I’m concerned but why is she so upset with me? She recently said that she hates having 2 families and hates the fact that my wife & her dad broke up all those years ago but I’ve been in her life 7 of her 11 years! I’ve told my wife that I feel like I should completely back out of anything that has to do with her but I know that will backfire in the end for not being involved enough. I feel like I can’t win…
I know I’m not the first step-parent to have issues but I need some sort of advice. Help?
Posted in Discipline Advice | 8 Comments »
October 23rd, 2011
Question:
Ok, so I have this problem…. I used to go to a high school, but then my parents moved me to another district like a week before spring break. Anyways the school counselor was picking the classes I was going to be in and one of them was my science class. In my other school I had an integrated science class, which we also talked about stuff in biology,but it wasn’t fully biology. in the school that I moved to they didn’t have that class so my counselor put me in physical science. I passed with a B.
But this year sophomore year they put me in core science, and I’m passing this class to with a high C.
Anyways here is my question: All the teens in each grade are preparing to pick the classes for next year, but I don’t know which science I should take because I talked to my science teacher about this and she said that I had to take biology last year to be in her class, and I didn’t take biology so she dose not know how I’m in her class! I don’t even know either and plus I want to take chemistry next year so I can take Physics Senior year, but my teacher says that I might of gotten credit for taking biology freshman year.. SO I DONT KNOW WHAT THE HECK IS GOING ON! CAN ANYONE GIVE ME SOME ADVICE OF WHAT I CAN DO?!
I DON’T WANT TO TAKE BIOLOGY WITH A BUNCH OF FRESHMAN’S MY JUNIOR YEAR!
I’m gonna try talking to my counselor about this too, but she is always SO BUSY, and she is not so nice either. Also I don’t even know how many credits I have and how many credits I need to graduate! Omg! I need help and I need my counselor to help me out cause I think she messed up my classes…… I DON’T KNOW CAN Someone please help me?! I’m stressing out here!
I don’t even know what to do anymore! I’m so confused!
Posted in Parenting Advice for Teens | 1 Comment »
October 22nd, 2011
Question:
From the age of 3 she was being assessed for autism. Time and again I was told by health professionals that it was behavioural problems, attachment issues etc and every time they’d phone me back and send her on for more assessments. She’s had a diagnosis for a Specific Language Disorder, her receptive and expressive language is very poor, at a 3 year age level, and is having severe difficulty learning to read and write. She is very OCD, doesn’t share (I have 2 younger children, 4 year old girl and 1 year old boy neither have any difficulties) she screams for no reason, sometimes things that shouldn’t hurt her do and other times she’s not bothered. She is absolutely obsessed with horses and cats, won’t talk to other kids she knows from school if we’re out. I was told because she initiates social interaction at school and with her siblings that she cannot be autistic, but its apparent that there’s something more than just a language disorder, I just don’t know what. I’m a single mother with no help, I have no idea what to do with her and I’m finding everything difficult. She can be very violent and is always hurting her brother and sister (and me of course) and the usual methods of discipline (corner, time out, taking toys away) only make things worse with her. I’m at a loss, does anyone have any advice???
Just thought I’d also say I very much do positive reinforcement, only discipline when necessary and do try to ignore unwanted behaviour (in all of them) and also I’m only recently a single mother (6 months) and she’s been this way most of her life, since she was about 18 months old…also thank you for the great answers so far
Posted in Discipline Advice | 3 Comments »
October 9th, 2011
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Posted in Books on Parenting | No Comments »
October 5th, 2011
Question:
Ok, maybe not a question, more like a plea. HHHEEELLLLPP! We have three children. 7yr.old boy, 5yr. girl, and a 2yr. old boy. Our other two are so gentle and mild mannered. Now, our daughter IS over the top dramatic, difficult at times, but no more I think than most little girls. Our son Zachary, OMG! We love him, he is beautiful, adorable, sweet, lovable, BUT a crazy, quick tempered mad man!!!!! Gets mad very quickly, hits, throws things, doesnt listen, fights us tooth and nail all the way!!! I dont know what to do. Every form of discipline you’d probably suggest, we’ve tried, giving each one a good run before switching to another. We are consitstant, well, as consistant as we can be, but nothing works. It is SO Hard! He goes to preschool a few days a week, he gets plenty of interaction with other kids his age. He just does what he wants to do and to hell with everyone else. I am actually scared he will hurt himself one day. As a stay at home mom it is fustrating, one would think that me being home all day would allow my to do all the wifely things Im supposed to do, but some days all I do is make sure he doesnt kill himself! Any advice or suggestions, or maybe just some words of encouragment from someone going through the same thing. Thank you!
Posted in Discipline Advice | 5 Comments »
September 30th, 2011
Question:
Hello everybody,
I’m kind of doubting right know. I’m 17 y/o, 18 in september, and I’m doing my final exams this year. I’m the best in all school subjects, and the best of my year, and I can easily start studying medicine (we have a numerus fixus here), they’ll take me straightaway, I’ll graduate without a doubt. I don’t have to do anything for school, those good marks all just happen, I never do homework, I never have to learn for tests. I have like lots of spare time left, I also do a lot of sports, I play music instruments and I am a (voluntary) child animator (don’t know what’s called in English) with little children (scouting).
I would like to study medicine, I think being a doctor wouldn’t be a boring job, but I also love to do exchanges. I think it’s really interesting, I’ve done several exchanges on our school, but those were only two weeks. I just love the cultural part, and I would like to become more fluent in English, (preferably) French or German.
So my problem is, should I just do my final exams and go studying medicine, or should I do a high school year somewhere? On the one hand, going abroad for a year costs an awful lot of money, and I would lose a year that I could have studied (becoming a doctor takes like so many years of study!). I also know someone who did a high school year kinda exchanges in the states, and when he came back he never went to school anymore, his ‘school discipline’ was kinda spoiled. On the other hand, I would really, really love to do that, because when I’m thinking about that I feel like doing it, while I don’t really get excited when thinking about studying medicine. And maybe later on, when I’m looking back, and I would like to do/have done it, but I would be too old, because now is the only time I can do it!
But still, although I would get lots of experiences, my parents might think it’s useless, because you can study better when you’re younger. So what should I do? I’ve been thinking about it for like more than 2 years, and last year I’ve decided I’d study after my final exams, but this week I had an exchange with Germany, and it was really fun, I really loved it, and the German who stayed with me had been on a high school year to New Zealand (btw he had to double a year because he was abroad a year, but that doesn’t apply to me because I’d have finished school by then).
Please give me some advice? What should I consider? I don’t expect to get the decisive answer here, but it could give me something to think about!
Thank you so much!
Well, what I mean is that I’m already in my final year of secondary school (we don’t have high school in Europe) and I’m doubting wether I should do it NEXT school year or not
Posted in Discipline Advice | 1 Comment »
September 27th, 2011
Question:
Hello everybody,
I’m kind of doubting right know. I’m 17 y/o, 18 in september, and I’m doing my final exams this year. I’m the best in all school subjects, and the best of my year, and I can easily start studying medicine (we have a numerus fixus here), they’ll take me straightaway, I’ll graduate without a doubt. I don’t have to do anything for school, those good marks all just happen, I never do homework, I never have to learn for tests. I have like lots of spare time left, I also do a lot of sports, I play music instruments and I am a (voluntary) child animator (don’t know what’s called in English) with little children (scouting).
I would like to study medicine, I think being a doctor wouldn’t be a boring job, but I also love to do exchanges. I think it’s really interesting, I’ve done several exchanges on our school, but those were only two weeks. I just love the cultural part, and I would like to become more fluent in English, (preferably) French or German.
So my problem is, should I just do my final exams and go studying medicine, or should I do a high school year somewhere? On the one hand, going abroad for a year costs an awful lot of money, and I would lose a year that I could have studied (becoming a doctor takes like so many years of study!). I also know someone who did a high school year kinda exchanges in the states, and when he came back he never went to school anymore, his ‘school discipline’ was kinda spoiled. On the other hand, I would really, really love to do that, because when I’m thinking about that I feel like doing it, while I don’t really get excited when thinking about studying medicine. And maybe later on, when I’m looking back, and I would like to do/have done it, but I would be too old, because now is the only time I can do it!
But still, although I would get lots of experiences, my parents might think it’s useless, because you can study better when you’re younger. So what should I do? I’ve been thinking about it for like more than 2 years, and last year I’ve decided I’d study after my final exams, but this week I had an exchange with Germany, and it was really fun, I really loved it, and the German who stayed with me had been on a high school year to New Zealand (btw he had to double a year because he was abroad a year, but that doesn’t apply to me because I’d have finished school by then).
Please give me some advice? What should I consider? I don’t expect to get the decisive answer here, but it could give me something to think about!
Thank you so much!
Posted in Discipline Advice | 1 Comment »
September 25th, 2011
Question:
Hello everybody,
I’m kind of doubting right know. I’m 17 y/o, 18 in september, and I’m doing my final exams this year. I’m the best in all school subjects, and the best of my year, and I can easily start studying medicine (we have a numerus fixus here), they’ll take me straightaway, I’ll graduate without a doubt. I don’t have to do anything for school, those good marks all just happen, I never do homework, I never have to learn for tests. I have like lots of spare time left, I also do a lot of sports, I play music instruments and I am a (voluntary) child animator (don’t know what’s called in English) with little children (scouting).
I would like to study medicine, I think being a doctor wouldn’t be a boring job, but I also love to do exchanges. I think it’s really interesting, I’ve done several exchanges on our school, but those were only two weeks. I just love the cultural part, and I would like to become more fluent in English, (preferably) French or German.
So my problem is, should I just do my final exams and go studying medicine, or should I do a high school year somewhere? On the one hand, going abroad for a year costs an awful lot of money, and I would lose a year that I could have studied (becoming a doctor takes like so many years of study!). I also know someone who did a high school year kinda exchanges in the states, and when he came back he never went to school anymore, his ‘school discipline’ was kinda spoiled. On the other hand, I would really, really love to do that, because when I’m thinking about that I feel like doing it, while I don’t really get excited when thinking about studying medicine. And maybe later on, when I’m looking back, and I would like to do/have done it, but I would be too old, because now is the only time I can do it!
But still, although I would get lots of experiences, my parents might think it’s useless, because you can study better when you’re younger. So what should I do? I’ve been thinking about it for like more than 2 years, and last year I’ve decided I’d study after my final exams, but this week I had an exchange with Germany, and it was really fun, I really loved it, and the German who stayed with me had been on a high school year to New Zealand (btw he had to double a year because he was abroad a year, but that doesn’t apply to me because I’d have finished school by then).
Please give me some advice? What should I consider? I don’t expect to get the decisive answer here, but it could give me something to think about!
Thank you so much!
Posted in Discipline Advice | 1 Comment »