October 14th, 2011
Question:
and perhaps getting a little obsessed? Two questions here. First, I love being spanked and i finally talked to my partner about it last week and he tried spanking me for the first time over the weekend and did it a couple of times and really seemed to be into it. Becasue he was worried about the “pain” afterward I told him we dont have to do it if he doesnt like it and he said no way he loves it and wants to do it regularly (but not all the time) I love it and have taken such a long time to talk to him about it but now i have. I have a scenario id love to act out either today or tomorrow because our children are away for the week and come back to us on Friday (and its Wednesday today) I have told him about it and he seemed keen but now i need to ask him to do it and im scared im asking too many times and im scared of putting him off it.
Secondly I really want to take it further in so much as rather than in a sexual way in a punishment way – as in domestic discipline. As he is very new to the subject of spanking i dont want to push too hard or too fast.
What should i do with both situations? Am i going to fast and pushing too hard with someone who has never spanked anyone before.
Please, this is a serious question and so serious answers and advice would be appreciated from those of you who understand this situation.
Posted in Discipline Advice | 2 Comments »
October 9th, 2011
Question:
I have two children, a 3 year old DD and 1 year old DS. My son is extremely rough! With me especially. We co-sleep, I have his crib opened to a day bed pushed up to my bed and he sleeps there, in the wee-hours of the morning(around 5) he wakes up and comes over to me and starts kicking and scratching/pinching and pulling my hair/wrestling me, he really beats me up! I try my tactic of holding his hand and firmly telling him no it hurts me and put him down, sometimes I think he just wants out of bed so naturally I have no problem with that so I get up with him and he cries like he is still sleepy and wants to nurse and go back to sleep, so I take him back to bed, and just when you think he is asleep again he starts up boxing me!! ?? I never dealt with this kind of thing before, I know a lot of it is normal rough boy behavior, like the headbutting affectionately, but how do I stop this? It seems worse every day this past 10 days. I keep trying different strategies and nothing is seeming to make any impact, if he pulls my hair really hard or scratches and slaps me while I’m holding him I say “NO SIR that hurts mommy” and put him down, and naturally he goes to pieces, I wait a minute and pick him up and show and tell him how to be gentle but he goes right back to pinching! And I repeat the process but he eventually gets bored with it and goes off to play, I really don’t want this little experimental cause and effect phase(if that’s what it is) to turn into a bad behavior of his, which I’m afraid its quickly turning into, if any mamas can give me some constructive advice/strategy that has worked for them and their little brute it would be much appreciated. My daughter is very girly and not rough-n-tumble so all day I hear “Axel STOP IT your hurting me!” I try rough housing and throwing him around as much as possible but there is only so much time in a day, as we all know, and so much must be done. My discipline tactics need some modifications. BTW he doesn’t watch TV at all, so this isn’t something he is absorbing from violent programs, I’m a SAHM so no daycare either, I just feel like he is bursting with energy. My son is 26lbs and I am 5’1″ 103, so he is quite a handful for me.
Posted in Discipline Advice | 1 Comment »
September 30th, 2011
Question:
Well I may be pregnant. Although hI wont know for sure until I take the test in november, I know that I am. I have all the signs and such. But I need help. How do I tell my parents? What about His parents? Should I keep it or abort it?
What about school?i am a sophomore, so how do I handle the stress from the school I go to? Please help me.
There is no place for pregnant teens here in my town and my family is Very VERY Strict christians
Posted in Parenting Advice for Teens | 16 Comments »
September 16th, 2011
Question:
I am currently going to move in with my mother-in-law and she’s hates me and my feelings are kind of mutual but I really try not to hate people. I want to not move in but this is the only option I have right now. I’d be in my own room and can stay to myself but she’s always trying to say things to get in between My husband and myself. Her other two kids are terribly irresponsible and very disrespectful and I know that being around them will affect my son because she never disciplined them so they freely yell and get in her face and throw fits and have yelling matches you could hear down the street she doesn’t ever discipline ever (i mean never grounded or spanked her kids). She isn’t someone I’d like to be around she married her children’s father after he had been to jail and was a druggie and pawned everything they owned even his kids stuff like she just lets things happen and doesn’t care. Look I’m not trying to trash her but I do need advice on how to handle her or deal with living with her. This is the real story and how it really is I didn’t grow up this way and I don’t want my son to learn anything bad from them I don’t know what to do it’s eating me from the inside out.
Posted in Discipline Advice | 1 Comment »
August 24th, 2011
Question:
Teen pregnancy is when a teenage girl usually within the ages of 15-17 becomes pregnant. The prevention of teenage pregnancy has been a big goal in the United States. There are many ways to prevent teen pregnancy for example; asking people for advice and using protection there is also many decisions that a teen parent will have to make. Pregnancy is not always a planned thing in a teen’s life. There are ways to stop pregnancy from happening. Everyone can make their own decisions men and women however there are things both men and woman can do to prevent them from becoming teen parents.
Causes of teen pregnancy are the lack of knowledge about using contraceptives. A sexually active teen that does not use a contraceptive has a ninety percent chance of becoming pregnant (Teenage Pregnancy). Teens may not know about contraceptives, or how to use them correctly. They may be too embarrassed or frightened to find out more about the information (Teenage pregnancy). Teen girls in a relationship with older men are also more likely to become pregnant than teenage girls going out with a guy that is her own age (Teenage pregnancy). Studies discovered that around 11-20 % of teen pregnancies are sexually assaulted or their boyfriend forced them to have intercourse with them (Teenage Pregnancy).
Posted in Parenting Advice for Teens | 3 Comments »
August 24th, 2011
Question:
My son is 8 and in Cub Scouts. There are about 7 children in his den.
Our leader has a son in the group and an older son in scouts as well. She is a very nice person. Her experience prior to this year includes attending her son’s meetings.
We have 2 assistant den leaders, both of which have extensive Cub/Boy Scout experience, having been both participants as children and leaders as adults.
Our leader is a mess. She is manic all the time, short tempered, has little patience, unorganized, and she does not command discipline. Every meeting is chaos. She ignores the discipline part of scouts and is not interested in doing things like the flag ceremony. It is seriously a mess.
I know the den assistants have attempted to talk to her and step in but she did not respond well and basically told them off. She is also a control freak and a perfectionist.
Now, as a person she is great. She just has no leadership skills or tact in dealing w/ children and I don’t think she understands cub scouts very well.
I have decided that I really need to find a way to confront her or get a new leader. Because she has been confronted before and did not change or respond well, I don’t think that is the best way to approach this.
Cub scouts is way too much work for us not to be getting more out of it. I don’t want to pull my son out, but don’t know what to do, It is too chaotic.
Any advice? Should I talk to the den assistants?
Posted in Discipline Advice | 6 Comments »
August 17th, 2011
Question:
My exgirlfriend and I broke up; we knew each other 7 years and have been split for 3 weeks. We have a child together and I helped raised her two other children four the past 5 years. Well our first few years together were turmoil, where things weren’t so serious. After our child was born it took me a year to stop being crazy. She is not able to look past my history of neuroticism and I frankly don’t trust her fully either because of our foundation. For the past 3 years I have went far in college and turned my life around from the street hoodlum i was. I got real upset of her negativity, always bringing up my past accusing me of using drugs, it is warranted but enough is enough. Im feeling it will affect my studies toward my degree and this is a toxic relationship, I love her but can’t tolerate her not changing her attitude towards me. She let me come back after our break ups so I feel bad about leaving. I felt like I betrayed her and the kids, they love me too but they don’t need to see us fighting everyweek and accusing each other. I think I made the right decision but it feels wrong. I put my self on child support when my child was born and plan on being actively involved in her life. I was thinking to move 6 hours away but I might just move an hour away or stay at a university here. But this town is so negative I want to be away from here and we were suppose to move but she let’s the children dictate the move because they’ll miss their friends. My rules didn’t matter at the house and my discipline was always undermined, still I feel like an a#% hole. Words of encouragement, criticism and advice would be appreciated.
We already did this child support and custody agreement. I am non custodial and have terms and visitation rights shall we have a bad communication. There is a court order but we have our own terms. If I move away I’ll go by what the papers say.
Posted in Discipline Advice | 2 Comments »
August 2nd, 2011
Question:
Does time spent screaming, spitting, hitting, pounding on walls, etc. count as time spent while a child is in time out? I don’t think it should.
What is the proper way to use this form of discipline?
Also I understand the minute-age ratio, but what about when there is a harsh offense? Does that change? For instance, giving 7 minutes to a 7 year old for getting into something they know they shouldn’t/have been warned versus giving a 7 year old a 7 minute time out for kicking you in that face screaming curse words at you? Doesn’t it seem that discipline should fit the offense, which is the way it will be for their whole life outside of home?
Helpful advice? This is a child I babysit daily and NEED HELP.
Posted in Discipline Advice | 2 Comments »
July 23rd, 2011
Question:
To your children that mommy does not have a favorite child?My children seem to think that I play “favorites”, although all get the same amount of love, care, stability, and discipline, I do not believe in playing favorites, I know that most children with 1 or more siblings experience this, but any good advice would be helpful. Thank you!!!
Posted in Discipline Advice | 4 Comments »
July 20th, 2011
Question:
Ok, let me explain the situation. I’m trying to help this teen I know deal with a pretty tough situation. He lives with his mom because his dad abandoned them when he was little. He goes to a public high school in a middle to upper class area. There he often gets bullied by the popular kids from well to do families, because he’s poor and can’t afford a car or the brand name clothes that they wear. His mom is getting exasperated by the fact that NONE the school officials are doing anything about it. He has few friends and is pessimistic much of the time. The parents of the kids who pick on him seem to almost condone their behaivor, I think they look down on students from poor families and are teaching their kids to think the same way. His attendence and grades have understandably been suffering and I hope he doesn’t drop out. I try to tell him to hang in there and it helps him some, but the problem is still getting worse and I hope I can help him and his mom resolve this situation.
Posted in Parenting Advice for Teens | 15 Comments »