May 19th, 2011
Question:
It hurts me to even say that. I am 27 years old. I had a baby when I was 18 and I have been a single parent since he was 3. I am often so depressed about my life because I am struggling and broke all the time. I am going to school but I don’t even have an AA yet because I have to work to take care of us. Sometimes I wish I never had him because I know I would have finished school a long time ago and be set in my career. I feel guilty for having these thoughts but I can’t help it. On top of all this I do not have much patience. I am always frustrated and annoyed with him. He is so hyperactive and he makes crazy noises all the time. He bounces off the walls and does not listen. These behaviours he has definitely encourage me to dream about a life without him. Don’t get me wrong, I am incapable of doing anything stupid. I do think that if he weren’t so annoying I wouldn’t daydream about how I screwed up my life so much and wish it was different. I don’t know what to do. I don’t have the passion that a mother should have. I can’t make myself care anymore. I feel so apathetic towards him now… like I burnt out a long time ago. Please don’t be mean; I am really trying to seek genuine advice. So, what should I do? Help!
I was married to his father but he took off and left the state when our son was 3 and I haven’t seen him since. He does not pay child support because he always works under the table.
My parents live an hour away in a small town (I would live there too, but there are no universities)… I told them how I have been feeling and they have offered to help by letting him live with them for a little while. I could still see him on weekends, so am thinking about it.
Thank you to those who have said kind and supportive words. I do know I love my son. If I didn’t love him I would not be seeking help. I am just extremely overwhelmed and stressed out and disappointed in myself for not meeting up to my own standards.
Please continue to respond to this question as I am looking for as much advice as I can get. 
Posted in Advice for Single Parents | 16 Comments »
May 13th, 2011
Question:
I asked a question earlier about my three year old throwing fits in stores and I got so many rude remarks. I discipline my child, he is usually a well-behaved child. He is going through a phase of temper tantrums right now, and I was asking for advice. Still, I got the “you have no control over him, he’s gonna grow up to be an old lady mugger.” We’re all parents, we all have the rough moments. You find me one child who is perfect and well-behaved 100% of the time. What is wrong with some people on here?
Posted in Discipline Advice | 13 Comments »
April 26th, 2011
Question:
see my life and the way I live
you think I need some discipline? I had my share
been sent to my room, been sat in a chair
and I held my tongue, didn’t plug my ears, no
I got a good talking to.
Now I don’t know why, I still try to smile
when they speak at me like I’m just a child
I’m not a child no, I am
much younger than that.
Now I’ve read some books,and I’ve grown quite brave
if I could just speak up, I think I would say
that there is no truth, there is only you
and what you make the truth.
So for now I’ll sing my songs, I’ll pass the hat
then i’ll leave this town and i’ll never look back, no
I won’t look back because the road is clear
and laid out ahead of me.
(this is the rest of it)
- I don’t when, but a day is gonna come
when there won’t be a moon, and there won’t be a sun
it will all go black, it will all go back
to the way it’s supposed to be
I need some understanding
I could do good with some explaining, you know
I want to understand.
Posted in Discipline Advice | 4 Comments »
April 9th, 2011
Question:
….won’t listen to the advice of BTDT parents? I remember telling my sister she wouldn’t need this or that but she got it all anyway because “they sell it for a reason”. Then 4 months after her baby was born she was like “this takes up too much room, I don’t need this, etc.” I also remember telling her to keep the b-dy parties low key for the first couple years and she ended up with big parties and flying around like a chicken with a crying baby for 3 hours.
Why do you think new moms would rather listen to the marketing money makers rather than people who actually may know better?
No I didn’t Sophie Mommy….
I have to LOL at many answers because it sorta backs up what I’m saying. There is no respect for the “elders” anymore. At one point the advice of the grandmothers and moms and other parents was gold. Now it’s just “annoying” and “pushy”. I guess that’s more my point than trying to be all “I’m right, you’re wrong” is there is no honest respect or interest for BTDT *anything*.
Posted in Advice for New Parents | 17 Comments »
April 6th, 2011
Question:
I’m 19 years old and one of my life goals is to be a mother. I’ve never had a boyfriend and I’m starting to think that maybe there is no one for me. Do you think that it causes long term problems for a child to be adopted into a single parent household? Or do you have advice on what I’m doing wrong to never have had a boyfriend? (I do not talk about kids w/ guys) It always seems like I’m the Girl Friend not the girlfriend!
Posted in Advice for Single Parents | 10 Comments »
March 5th, 2011
Question:
I need some advice from parents and teens a like.
What would be fair punishments for these two scenarios?
1) My daughter, age 16, slept at our house with her boyfriend while I was out of town for a week after repeatedly being told she wasn’t to do so, and also took our car out with friends having no permission.
2) My other daughter who is 14 went to our house while i was out of town for around 4 hours after school with a boyfriend because she needed help with an assignment for school. She didn’t ask me because she knew i would say no and she had to get the assignment done. She didn’t have permission to be at the house either.
What would be appropriate times to ground/take away their phones?
So far, punishments for number 1 i have come with are:
1) Ground her for a week
2) Take away her phone for 4 days
For number 2:
1) Ground her for 2 days
2) Take away her phone for 2 days
Are these punishments too much, too little, good?
Thanks in advance
Posted in Parenting Advice for Teens | 6 Comments »
March 5th, 2011
Question:
Desiderata
Go placidly amid the noise and haste,
and remember what peace there may be in silence.
As far as possible without surrender
be on good terms with all persons.
Speak your truth quietly and clearly;
and listen to others,
even the dull and the ignorant;
they too have their story.
Avoid loud and aggressive persons,
they are vexations to the spirit.
If you compare yourself with others,
you may become vain and bitter;
for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself.
Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans.
Keep interested in your own career, however humble;
it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time.
Exercise caution in your business affairs;
for the world is full of trickery.
But let this not blind you to what virtue there is;
many persons strive for high ideals;
and everywhere life is full of heroism.
Be yourself.
Especially, do not feign affection.
Neither be cynical about love;
for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment
it is as perennial as the grass.
Take kindly the counsel of the years,
gracefully surrendering the things of youth.
Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune.
But do not distress yourself with dark imaginings.
Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness.
Beyond a wholesome discipline,
be gentle with yourself.
You are a child of the universe,
no less than the trees and the stars;
you have a right to be here.
And whether or not it is clear to you,
no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.
Therefore be at peace with God,
whatever you conceive Him to be,
and whatever your labors and aspirations,
in the noisy confusion of life keep peace with your soul.
With all its sham, drudgery, and broken dreams,
it is still a beautiful world.
Be cheerful.
Strive to be happy.
Max Ehrmann, Desiderata, Copyright 1952.
Posted in Discipline Advice | 8 Comments »
February 28th, 2011
Question:
What are some hints/tips to coming back from a party drunk and not let your parents you are tipsy-wasted
Posted in Parenting Tips | 10 Comments »
February 27th, 2011
Question:
He’s 43 & a single parent. He has 4 kids. 2 are grown & the others are rebellious & ruthless teens. His wife died a few years ago because she was very ill. He was born & raised in church & carried his church morals through with his children. His oldest daughter is very successful & is working on her Master’s degree, the 2nd child is transgendered, the 15-yr. old son & 13-yr. old daughter are sexually active & do drugs. The daughter was pregnant & lost her baby. They talk back to him & try to fight him, & no type of discipline works. He cries every night because he feels like he’s not doing a good enough job as a father. The more he punishes him, the more they rebel, & they’re very sneaky. He feels that he looks bad in the church because of what his kids do.
He asked me to post this problem on here for advice.
Posted in Discipline Advice | 14 Comments »
February 19th, 2011
Question:
Unless children have experience with taking care of children (babysitting, younger siblings, etc), you’re never really taught how to be a parent. All you have are your paternal instincts, knowledge, and advice from others. Your child also changes quickly so you have to adapt.
:/
..Even though I plan on fostering, and eventually adopting a child, when I’m in my late twenties that still sounds like a challenge.
* is your paternal instincts…
Posted in Parenting Advice for Teens | 9 Comments »