Question:
First off I apologize in advance if this is really long- I’ll try to keep it as short as possible. And to other thinking I’m a troll- I assure you I’m not. I’m very well known in the teen section, I just don’t want this on my normal TC account. Please don’t be rude- I really don’t think I could handle that. Thank you.
Okay this all started my Junior year of HS. I’ve always been bullied, but it got to the point that I just couldn’t handle it. My “friends” turned their backs on me, & school was fcuking hell. It was that bad. So everyday I would lie to me mom & say I was sick (which wasn’t a full lie, going to school did make me physically ill), I’ve never been the healthiest person, so she believed me. Anyway I kept this up ALL year. I would go sometimes, but I missed more than half the year. We got charged with truancy, but we just had to pay a fine (which I did pay my mom back, so I’m not a complete jack-a**). This year, my would be senior year, I completely dropped out since I’m 18. I tried to do the home-school thing, but it didn’t work out (LONG story), then I signed up to get my GED, but I got really sick & missed almost a month of classes, so I got kicked out.
Now it’s almost July, I’m almost 19 & I have nothing. I’m depressed, & half the time I don’t want to be alive. I love my mom, but I don’t want to be in this fcuking small judgmental bullying town. I have a little over $5000 coming to me soon, from my dad (his not involved, he just throws money at me every year for my birthday). I really want to take that money & move. I can’t stay here anymore, I know to y’all I might be overreacting, but if you knew the hell I’ve been put through here, you would understand. I’ve thought about suicide, but I could NEVER do that to my mom, she means everything to me.
I plan to move, get a small place with roommates, & get my GED/high-school diploma while working. Do you think I could do it? I’m far from dumb & want to continue my education, I just couldn’t stay in HS. I really couldn’t. I’m willing to work my A** off & be dead-broke for a while. I’m not ignorant, I know it’s going to be tough. But I really can’t stay here.
Any advice would be great, thank you. Sorry for the length, just wanted you to have the back-story. And before you say I need therapy, trust me I know. I want to go, & once I move out I will. It’s not like I enjoy feeling this way (far from it).
Thank you Brimstone for your UPS job advice. I’m going to look into that. I do know where I want to move, & I’ve already looked into places to live. I’ve set up a budget & everything. I’ve also looked into GED classes up there.
As for the one of the answers (I apologize, I can’t remember your name). I assure you, I am healthy enough to work. I actually work now- I clean house & walk dogs- not the best, but it is a job. I’m thankful to have one, I live in a tiny town with very little options. I refuse to get on public help, unless I had no other choice. I’m motivated & ready to better myself. I AM smart, & regret I had to drop out. But I really did have no other choice. As for being suicidal- it really is only on certain days, when It just gets to me. I AM going to get help, I would love to go to therapy now, but my town does not have it.
I thank you for your answer though. =)