June 4th, 2011
Question:
I know that this may sound selfish and I should know better at 48 but when I met this woman a year ago, we totally fell for each other and then came the 10 yr old daughter. I know enough about how difficult this is and it’s the whole package or none, but it’s very difficult. You can’t be the father and it’s hard to discipline someone else child. It frustrates me because this child is literally disconnected from the world in front of a TV like no one I have ever seen and so addicted to it. She constantly is making a pig pin out of my house when they spend weekends with me. Stays up til 1-2 in the morning interrupting any alone time I have with her mother, and everything revolves around her. Yes she’s a kid and only 10, but give me a break, how do you get past all that. I’m always biting my tongue and wish I could straighten her out once and for all but I’m not her dad. I love her mother but I’m afraid this will be the thing that could destroy our relationship. Any advice is greatly appreciated.
She is a sweet and outgoing child and I know she loves me, but what do I do?
Posted in Discipline Advice | 6 Comments »
May 23rd, 2011
Product Description
This challenging book explodes today’s popular “good mother/bad mother” myth and helps the reader both rethink the cultural roles of motherhood and understand the deeper issues that underlie the experience of child rearing…. More >>
The Myth of the Perfect Mother: Parenting Without Guilt
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May 18th, 2011
Question:
Our oldest son has been having trouble at school (not really at home or anywhere else) and my mother in law told us that we can’t take away his privileges because he’ll become resentful, and we can’t keep him home from baseball because he needs physical activity, that we couldn’t give him time out because the deprives him of attention…basically we can’t discipline our child at all.
Then she told us that she suggest we go for counseling. (in order to be better parents).
WHATEVER YOUR OPINION ABOUT THE SITUATION IS IT DOESN’T MATTER. My question is:
How can I tell my mother in law to ONLY give advice on our sons behavior and not criticizing us as parents? – Politely as possible of course.
My husband, like many out there has a hard time standing up against mommy. He lives by the theory that if you ignore it long enough it will go away. Sadly I know this isn’t always true.
I don’t feel that I could ignore these judgements because it really upsets me and I won’t be able to be around people who so clearly and openly think of me as a horrible parent who needs counseling.
I can’t just ignore this behaviour. It shows a complete lack of respect and I would hate to hold it against her without even letting her know it upsets me, that’s not fair.
Posted in Discipline Advice | 7 Comments »
May 15th, 2011
Question:
We’re a legally married lesbian couple (South Africa). We are currently 21 weeks pregnant through IUI (artificial insemination), and although my parents, especially my mother, were very supportive throughout our trying to conceive process, now that I am pregnant, it is as if my mother doesn’t recognize my wife as our child’s second parent / mother. (I am the pregnant one) My mother seems to think that I’m going into parenthood as a single parent, and that my wife is “only the partner, nothing biological” If I was married to a man, and he happened to be infertile, she would never treat him in this manner. Does anyone have advice, on how we should treat this? Or even if anyone could please refer me to some reading material? Disrespectful answers will be reported. Thanks. PS My parents are very supportive in every other aspect of our marriage, and they totally accept us.
Old Mister Happy – actually, no. I am the one who had insisted on contracts being drawn up to ensure that, in the case of a divorce, or my death, nobody can ever take OUR child away from her. And yes, WE are very much pregnant. We started and went through the entire process, and two miscarriages together. So this child is in no way any less my wife’s than what it is mine. Thanks for your narrow-sighted response, anyway.
I never claimed that she is the biological parent, by the way.
Posted in Advice for Single Parents | 8 Comments »
May 14th, 2011
Question:
Hello Everyone,
Whoever is taking the time to read this I really appreciate it trully from the bottom of my heart. I am a Single parent of two young ones and am 25 yrs old moving out of state to go back to my home town which is CT. I have no idea how to do this thopugh. I guess my question is, What should my first steps be? Im wondering if I should look for a place and move out there and then search for work and schools for my children, Or if i should search for work first and then plan the move. Obviously I’m in need of some kind of set planning before the big move. It seems i am not taking the right steps and im becoming frustrated. I look for apartments but they ask for me to be there to sign papers and so on and so forth and Im trying to avoid having to go there and come back for my thiongs and the kids. Then, If im here and get called for an interview as ive been searching its difficult also because im still here in Florida. So, What do i Do??? I really do want to move. Thats where most my family is. I dont want to have to move in with anyone temporarily either. Im trying to do it on my own but its looking like an impossible task. I have a house-full of furniture here that id hate to leave behind and want to transfer to my new home up in CT. when i do have it set. How do i go about doing this extreme move in the most easiest but efficient way. I want this process to be less stressful for me and my children and Ive already set my mind on it. Can anyone help me with advice. Has anyone out there moved form one state to another? How should i plan and what are the steps i should take?
Posted in Advice for Single Parents | 3 Comments »
April 24th, 2011
Product Description
More and more women are choosing to breastfeed their babies. You may be surprised, however, to learn that nursing doesn’t always come easily. The Everything® Breastfeeding Book is a friendly, unintimidating primer that helps you make lifestyle choices that work for you and your child-and make feedings a wonderful time for bonding. The Everything® Breastfeeding Book, written by a certified breastfeeding educator, is packed with professional advice on every aspect of breastfeeding-from the first moments of latching on, to ensuring that your baby is well fortified, to ultimately weaning the baby off the breast. This thorough, easy-to-follow guide features professional, practical information on: The most comforta… More >>
The Everything Breastfeeding Book: Basic Techniques and Reassuring Advice Every New Mother Needs to Know
Posted in Books on Parenting | No Comments »
April 23rd, 2011
Question:
Posted in Advice for New Parents | 22 Comments »
April 8th, 2011
Question:
I am 24 years old. My boyfriend & I found out a few months ago that we were expecting in early 2011 (I am currently 14 weeks along). We were very excited.
We have recently broken up due to constant fighting. He is verbally abusive & I have hit him in the back/chest a few times. We know it is better to not be together if this is the type of relationship we are bound to be in. (Before anyone judges me, this is the first time I have ever been psychically abusive in a relationship-and yes, I’m seeking counseling)
However, yesterday he told me he definitely wants me to have an abortion (I have done this in the past-very difficult to deal with the after emotions, but I was not this far along!). His mind is set on it. If I decide to have/keep the baby-he will pay what he “owes” and that will be it. I am incredibly lost at what to do…. My parents suggested giving the baby up for adoption. Of course my entire family would support me if I kept the child. I have a good paying, stable job. I could raise this child on my own, that is not the problem. It is if I can emotionally be strong enough to raise a child. My mom was a single parent for years, she knows the struggles of it.
So do I abort…. keep the baby…. or give it up for adoption? I know this may sound cold-hearted, but if I went the abortion route, I would be able to move on with my life sooner and faster. I just do.not.know.anymore.
I’m not looking to be drug down by low-blow comments-I am simply looking for other advice that maybe I haven’t heard/read yet. Thank you.
Posted in Advice for Single Parents | 11 Comments »
April 4th, 2011
Question:
I am a single mother of an almost 5 yr old daughter. Her father has recently gotten married. She talks all of the time about how she wants her step-mom to go away because she wants to just be with her daddy (normal)…the thing is, she isn’t as close to him as she is to me. So if I were to find someone and marry, it would only affect her even more. I HATE the idea of that…I do not want “getting on with my life” to affect her in a negative way. She and I are so close that people comment on it constantly, how did I do it, asking me for advice…things like that. We just mesh, she and I. She knows I’m the mommy (aka boss) so it’s not one of those “friends instead of the parent” things…I’ve somehow managed and ended up being her best friend while maintaining my parental status in her life. It’s great!! I love her and adore her and cherish our relationship so much. So here’s the other twist to my question…beyond me dating again hurting her…it SCARES me!! Let’s face it, someone else being around inevitably takes time away from her and our one on one personal intimacy. It would rock our whole world and turn it upside down. And so in addition to not wanting to do that to her…it scares the heck out of ME! I do not want anything to interrupt our relationship, how she can completely rely on me focusing on her…how our time together and the sheer amount of laughing we do will diminish when ‘he’ enters the picture. I light up her room and she does mine…and it is because of our closeness, our focus on one another. As she says, I’m her “favorite and” her “best”…and I don’t want to do anything to lessen that. I’m a bit torn up over the thought. She and I talked about it the other day and she started to cry…because she wants a brother and/or a sister and when I told her then I’ll have to get married for that to happen she just sobbed saying she didn’t want that. And I had to hide the fact that I was tearing up too… Have you been in a similar situation as a single parent? Someone help me with your thoughts, please? This, I should specify, isn’t just about her…it’s got a whole lot to do with MY fear of someone coming into our situation lessening our closeness! How close she and I are is my most proud accomplishment! I don’t want to choose spending time with someone else (or someone else included) over spending our special time together.
Also…can you tell me how old you are and if you have children in your response to this post? 
Posted in Advice for Single Parents | 8 Comments »
April 1st, 2011
Product Description
For every woman who’s passed off store-bought cakes as her own at the school bake sale comes an honest look at motherhood. In an ideal world, mothers would have time to hand-sew their kids’ costumes for the school play, prepare all-organic meals, and volunteer in the classroom at the drop of a hat. In reality, most moms have to settle for plopping their little ones in front of SpongeBob so that they can prepare yet another chicken nugget-based dinner, guiltily convinced they’re falling down on the job. In Good-Enough Mother, René Syler shares how she learned to chuck perfection for practicality. She shows other women seeking to balance family, work, and some semblance of a personal life how to hap… More >>
Good-Enough Mother: The Perfectly Imperfect Book of Parenting
Posted in Books on Parenting | No Comments »