Question: Hi, well basically i am a 22 year old guy and my main problem is my social life. I have friends, but not as many as i would like. I have always been the “quiet” one, even during my teens i was shy, but now i am 22 i am a lot more talkative and outgoing, but when i’m in groups i still sometimes become quiet, well anyway i feel as though my social life is heading backwards instead of forwards. I mean i used to have a reasonably decent social life a couple years ago, but now it seems as though i am losing contact with friends and i never hear about invites to parties or places. Don’t get me wrong i still have friends that i go out with now and then, but i am the sort of person that loves to be out doing stuff and socialising, but the opportunities just aren’t there to socialise. My weekends consist of sitting home most of the time, going clothes shopping or to the gym, but i rarely see my friends on weekends and i’m afraid to contact old friends in case they think i’m desperate or don’t want to hang out with me. Also i am still living at home with my parents and i never went to university, so i guess i’m stressing out over that as well. I also want to go to university, but i worry about my age and also whether i will do well in university because i struggle at maths. I know uni would be a great place to meet people and i hear good stories from people who have been or are there now, and it sounds the perfect place for me at this stressful, depressing time in my life. I just don’t know what to do, so some helpful advice would be great, thanks.
Question: Right now my life is happy. But a few months ago it wasn’t even close to ok, I felt depressed. But I had no one to talk to about it. In 7th grade i remember my teacher saying over 50% of teens who have no one to talk to commit suicide. And it has been in my head ever since. (im 15 now and a sophmore in high school) I guess i have trust issues and only trust adult males who i idolize as a father since i can’t really talk to mine. I can’t talk to my best friend about this because i know she would think im crazy.
I am looking for someone i can talk to about everything, and they have advice to give.
I just need to know what to do, or where i can go.
And no i won’t be going to a councilor because my parents would know and they don’t need to.
Thanks for the help(:
Question: Am I a weird person. I am gonna e 18 in July. And I have never had a girlfriend. I am not gonna move out. In my culture it’s normal for kids to live with their parents and take care of them when they are old. Btw. The girl I love and loved since I was 9/10 hates me for no reason.
I am gonna be graduating in a week from high school and my parents haven’t even thought of a graduation present. I understand with all the money problems but it doesnt hurt to spend a bit. I do not have a job.
What tips would u give for me in the future? I am planning on going to college. But my grades are dropping massively.
Question: I am in a predicament. I have dreams of becoming a military police officer in the Canadian Forces. Being able to have that title, would make me feel so accomplished, and proud to be me. Something I know would change me for the better. This in turn would enable me to show my children that anything is possible if you work hard enough. I could learn self discipline, good morale and physical well being that would also be great to pass along to my kids. And of course, it pays well! BUT the part I can’t come to terms with is having to leave my husband and children for the basic training, and subsequent schooling. I feel as if I’m being selfish. My husband would have to stay home with our kids, and as great a father as he is, he has no idea how hard of a job full time parenting really is. They would be 3 and 1 years old by the time I head to training, and I would miss so much of the beginning of their lives. It seems so wrong to voluntarily leave your kids like that. I’m not getting any younger, although I’m only 23, but I think if I wait until they’re older, they would have a much harder time, or resent me for going because of their ability to understand more. Everyone in my family thinks it’s a bad idea, except for my husband. He supports me in any decision I make, but i can;t make that decision. What’s your advice?
www.zencoach.com I am a first time father getting ready to experience my first fathers day. Although I am new to fatherhood I have been giving parenting advice for 16 years. What I have noticed is a parenting style where you put your child at the center of your universe to the exclusion of your own self-care leads to disaster. Also many new parents are often obsessed with being the PERFECT parent rather than enjoying parenthood.
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Question: she is not actually my god daughter, she is the child of an ex girlfreind (who is now married). i get on with her hubby but i don’t feel right about interfering in the daughter/father r/ship.
anyway here’s the situation, i visit once or twice a week (since she was 6 months old, i was overseas b4 that) for a few hours in the late afternoon /eve.
he can be very short with her (shouts) and i have often seen the stuff he is upset about and it’s so often NOTHING. he seems to think that she understands the world the same as an adult and only needs to be told something once. as i am far more easy going and talk her through situations where she is going ‘wrong’ i feel that i am causing confusion for her. she is experiencing my reaction to situations and then experiencing her fathers. it is clear that she is feeling the different approaches as she has said a few times things like “dad doesn’t say never mind” and “i wish you were my dad”. and when she plays families in her dolls house she might say “this is me” as she picks up the little dolly, “this is mum” as she picks up ‘barbie’ and “this is you” as she picks up the ‘ken’ doll.
i should say at this point that there is nothing other than f/ship between me and her mum for 12 years now. and she is happy in her marriage. (though she has made some comments about the fathers intolerance)
i have read that children NEED consistency, especially around rules and discipline and that i am therefore a source of inconsistency. i have swung the conversations with him to talk about “something i read” and then go on to explain about childhood development and how their little brains are working things out as they grow every day. and he seems to listen, but nothing changes, in fact he has got a bit more shouty lately. i know that it is a stressful time for him at work right now as well which is the base of it all, i believe, but that is not her fault, obviously
to add to matters i have never seen him play with her and i do, alot. also, she might say ‘no daddy’ if he comes near while i am playing/reading with her and this hurts him. he now does not want to go back into that situation and hear his daughter say that to him. hardly surprising. however she is quite happy for him to read her a bedtime story EVERY night.
it seems to have got to a difficult point right now as she would not say hello to him when he returned from work this afternoon. she turned away and shrieked when he said hello, 4 or 5 times he said it and 4 or 5 times she did the same thing.
immediately afterwards i asked her why she “didn’t want to say hello to daddy” and she said “he only says hello to me when you’re here”. i nearly broke down on the spot.
so, for anyone that knows about these things: what’s the best REALISTIC thing to do?
what can i do to help this situation?
is it best for a child to have a variety of attitudes around them? if so what if that causes her to compare and possibly see her dad in a bad light? is it really doing her any favours? more good than harm?
as you can probably tell i’m at a loss here so any advice anyone can give will be most welcome, i love her as if she was my own.
to the first answerer; he is not my ‘buddy’ as such. i only met him shortly before they got married. i do not socialise with him etc etc .but, i get on with him.
thanks
Question: Some stumble into what or who they love bar none and shoot off like a rocket. But for most of us reaching mid life we stumble through day to day doing a job, paying the bills, and working through basic interpersonal relationships. At mid life we realize we are not likely to be the next teen heart throb, or young business tycoon, and in fact employee of the month may be a stretch. Perhaps we have a family or perhaps we are still playing the dating game.
For those further up the mountain what perspective can be offered. What did you do right? Would you have done anything different? Sure you can credit the luck of finding the right lover or career, but outside of blind luck what made the difference.
For someone who lacks living grandparents or parents to ask… Whats advice would you give those in their 30′s/40′s to have a good life?
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