Question:
Sorry if its long, I actually wrote this in my notebook a couple nights ago && realized it sitting there wont do me anygood. Maybe some random strangers have good advice. You have to read all of it, or you migt miss some thing I say to answer me
lets start. I have this life, I have never liked as a teenager. I’ve only been a teenager for 1 1/2 years, but you know what I mean. When I was a younger kid I was so carefree and up until I was 9 and moved to Georgia. I hated life. I went to school in 4th grade and I would cry everyday because the kids were so cruel to me. They would pretend to be my friend then get mad at me for no reason just to make me cry because I would think I didn’t have any friends. I’m not going to go into detail with my entire life but, basically here it is.
Moved when I was 9, hated school, brother did drugs, brother went to rehab, mom started choking (because of condition she used to have), brother ran away for 6 months, dad got fired, brother tried to kill himself, I went into depression, have low self esteem, gained 15 pounds, almost failed to 8th grade, bullied in school, and here we are today.
That doesn’t sound all that bad, but if you were me, and you knew all the details, ,it would suck for you. I’m not saying I have the worst life ever because I know other teens have it worse, but I just.. gah
Now: I do not like life, everday I roll out of bed dreading life, because of where I live and my life I have where I live. I personally hate it here
Why? I just do.The fcking location, the fake@ss rich bi*tc*hes, the atmosphere, EVERYTHING! Just everything about this place makes me dread life. I have never been happy, see I want to be in Colorado/Wyoming. I just want to be there, I have family there, and even better its not here. And there, it is all better, no worries are there. I would be the most happy person if I moved to Colorado/Wyoming. I want to like life, so much. So much that I cry everyday because I try so hard to like it, and at the end of the day its just never real. Its always fake. My mom told me to get over the wanting to move, the wanting to leave thing. But I cant, I don’t know why I just cant. I can’t get over the fact that everyday I’m more and more scared of the future, because I know I’ll be miserable.
I don’t have any good memories here, I don’t have any real friends, I don’t have a life here. When I try to tell my mom all this, she wont listen to me, at all. She tells me to get over it. She also said I can’t runaway from your promblems. Thats not running away from your problems. Its helping myself ast a person. Sure, I’m leaving but everyone leaves eventually. Maybe I’m too young to realize its runnig way or maybe my mom is just coming up with excuses.
My best friend in the entire world lives in colorado. Her name is Ann&&I’m jealous of her because she gets to move to Wyoming. I want that more then anything. I don’t care if its Wyoming I don’t care if its colorado. Being with her would make it all better. Thats not the reason I want to move just so you know
I think about my life if I was to move to Colorado/Wyoming and I smile. I feel happy I have a glow, I’m not scared of that life. I think about my life here. and I litterally start crying. I want to be happy, I WANT TO BE HAPPY, I just cant seem to be happy here. I can’t
I seriously do not just want to move because I’m bored, I really think this will help me. My future here scares me, because I know I’ll be so miserable. I’m even more scared of killing myself because I’ll be so upset with life. I don’t think my parents realize how miserable I am…
You’re not suppose to dread life, and I don’t want to anymore.
Please… help me. What should I do?
I have tried talking to my mom about it so many times. She told me if I mention it one more time she’ll ground me for a month and have my phone deactivated
&&This place in Georgia, is not a place where you find real friends, they’re fake girls. They’re not true. And I’m telling you I have tried to be happy!!
Therapy is not an option, I have to move, I have to leave here or else I’m scared or what I’ll do
-I realize this is my 2nd time asking-
Ok I’m guessing you guys didn’t read it
I’m not just some fcuking whining teenager who is bored and wants to move. I’m probably gonna end up killing myself if I stay here, and you guys are acting like its not that big of a deal. Why would I want to go to school in Colorado or Wyoming? Nothing is there, I want to be there now. If I can’t move there now then fcuk that siht I’ll slit my throat