December 3rd, 2011
Question:
My son turned 3 in March and over the last 1 1/2 months, he has become horrible behavior wise. EVERYTHING is “NO, or I DON”T WANT TO. He screams about everything, fights with his older brother, throws things and absolutely refuses to go on the potty. Don’t bother telling me I need to discipline him because I am a firm believer in time-outs and doing what it takes for him to understand his behavior is NOT acceptable but nothing seems to affect him. He was such a wonderful child before he turned 3 and I always received compliments on how well behaved he was. Not the case anymore.
I just had a baby which friends tell me is a big contributing factor to his behavior. I am just beyond frustrated and don’t know what to do. Any advice?
Posted in Discipline Advice | 7 Comments »
December 2nd, 2011
Question:
I live in Texas, and according to Penal Code 9.62, it states:
EDUCATOR-STUDENT. The use of force, but not deadly force, against a person is justified:
(1) if the actor is entrusted with the care, supervision, or administration of the person for a special purpose;
and
(2) when and to the degree the actor reasonably
believes the force is necessary to further the special purpose or to
maintain discipline in a group.
My son was at school and was refusing to do his school work. He is a special needs child and just lost his only Uncle the day before Thanksgiving. He has been having a tough time and had a bad day. Two teachers, and the Principle, held him down against a desk to “Physically prompt” him to do his work. They even wrote a note home that says this is what happen. My son is COVERED in bruises and said he cried for them to stop because it hurt. I have alerted the Media, called police, taken photos and video and now coming here to get advice. The cop told me it was “legal to beat your kids” in Texas…no, really, he said he thought it was “the best law in Texas”. And he told me that the teachers had the right to do what they felt necessary to get him to comply to their rules! Here are some of his injuries:
(The bruises on wrist were from where they were grabbing/holding so hard to force the pencil in his hand)
http://c2.ac-images.myspacecdn.com/images02/11/l_0d5a67bd93ac4e1b8ba420c942e21c21.jpg
http://c4.ac-images.myspacecdn.com/images02/22/l_4e600135a7e34ef3a49d78dafc2fdcef.jpg
http://c1.ac-images.myspacecdn.com/images02/60/l_be251fd473894b879a8f37d3132f3d90.jpg
http://c1.ac-images.myspacecdn.com/images02/19/l_7866f8df201e489a94dc5d3642916788.jpg
http://c3.ac-images.myspacecdn.com/images02/19/l_b5639d0fb9da4c8b803a48676aa6f81e.jpg
http://c4.ac-images.myspacecdn.com/images02/6/l_b184c110e9464f32b9283977f90fcd4f.jpg
My son was not needing to be restrained, he just simply told the teachers he was not doing classwork because he was depressed; they then physically made him to it, leaving injuries while he was kicking and screaming and begging them to stop. He was not a threat to himself or anyone. I have had 4 cops restrain him, sedate him, and put cuffs on him; my husband and I have restrained him many times (all pre-medication, now he never needs to be restrained); yet NEVER has he been bruised or hurt in the process.
He had already been home an entire week; they said he had to come back or I was going to jail.
Jake, thank you! And I did remove him from school this morning. Now I wish I lived in the UK…lol
Posted in Discipline Advice | 4 Comments »
November 30th, 2011
Question:
My parents’ reason is that they don’t like my going to parties with people drinking and all, which at this modern day for teenagers seems to be inevitable. I never drink even if my friends do, I swear, and I am most definite that I tell them that. However no matter how many times I defend myself to be clean and will never be influenced by inappropriate actions, they seem to not have any trust on me nor to my friends whom they have already met and have “disliken,” so to speak. At this age, I seldom go out to teen parties which I think is making me so anti-social and I believe I am losing my self-confidence and interpersonal relationship skills.
What do i do?These are the only friends I got (due to my homebody nature). Am i still to young to go out and be independent of my decisions? At this age, when I have not finished my studies yet, is it true that I can still be easily influenced and may ruin my life’s goal of becoming aprofessional because of such socialization? Advice urgent.
Posted in Parenting Advice for Teens | 7 Comments »
November 29th, 2011
Question:
I am the mother of a boy that will be five in March next year, the trouble is he’s obsessed with me. Since he was born I have always been there for him, providing food and clothing, giving him both the discipline as needed and the security too basically being the only one to take care of him. Now he loves his mommy and doesn’t like his daddy at all, when they are together no matter what my husbands attempts of getting affection from him are, my son simply refuses. Like tonight was horrible, my son has this habit lately of picking his nose, and well he picked his nose and went to get a kleenex, he walked up to daddy first like he was going to give him a hug, my husband looks at him and says “oh you want a hug” but instead of hugging him he wiped a booger on his shirt. Well that made my husband very angry so he got punished. Then after that they spent the entire night arguing back and forth like siblings rather than being adult and child. It’s getting exhausting almost like my son doesn’t want his father around and like my husband doesn’t forgive him when he gets in trouble. Anyone have advice?
Posted in Discipline Advice | 5 Comments »
November 28th, 2011
Question:
My wife is a special ed major and has been a teacher for over 20 years……When my brother and his wife had their first child it was apparent that something was wrong with his at about age 3. My wife and I were there and were prepared to help and be supportive. As time went on ..it was obvious that they were not prepared to address this. Time passed and much to our horror my brother and his wife kept their head in the sand. When the child was 7-8 years old they started to come around and realize they needed to get him some help. We played the game and never said anything because we knew it would just upset them. My wife was horrified by the fact that time was slipping away and the kid needed help….When they finally decided that he probably had a problem ( or were ready to admit it)….He was 9 …… He is Oppositional Defiant and does very unexceptable things at every chance he gets…..It isnt his fault,but some of his actions are not good… dropping his pants in front of others ….swearing…hitting……and he doesnt listen or sometimes even aknowlege his parents…. they do little to discipline him…and use Playstation as a babysitter most times…….He is my only brother….my wife is disgusted with them …and so am I really…..When it was all out on the table about his having aspergers….My wife and I tried to offer our help in any way…. Its one of those things where ..they didnt want good advice….they wanted to stay in the fog about it rather than address the issue…… They dont discipine him and he does what he wants around the house….. This has basically ruined my relationship with my brother…..I have a 9 year old daughter and he has pushed her down… dropped his pants (like a big joke) ….. swore at her….. and I try to not say anything but the few times I have said something …It was like “I” had done something wrong. I KNOW that you aren’t suppose to say anything when it comes to how shitty someone is raising their kid but….when it affected my daughter i said something…. I dpnt think ill ever have a good relationship with my brother or his wife…. sad but true….some people are dumb asses…. family included
Posted in Discipline Advice | 2 Comments »
November 28th, 2011
Question:
My wife is a special ed major and has been a teacher for over 20 years……When my brother and his wife had their first child it was apparent that something was wrong with his at about age 3. My wife and I were there and were prepared to help and be supportive. As time went on ..it was obvious that they were not prepared to address this. Time passed and much to our horror my brother and his wife kept their head in the sand. When the child was 7-8 years old they started to come around and realize they needed to get him some help. We played the game and never said anything because we knew it would just upset them. My wife was horrified by the fact that time was slipping away and the kid needed help….When they finally decided that he probably had a problem ( or were ready to admit it)….He was 9 …… He is Oppositional Defiant and does very unexceptable things at every chance he gets…..It isnt his fault,but some of his actions are not good… dropping his pants in front of others ….swearing…hitting……and he doesnt listen or sometimes even aknowlege his parents…. they do little to discipline him…and use Playstation as a babysitter most times…….He is my only brother….my wife is disgusted with them …and so am I really…..When it was all out on the table about his having aspergers….My wife and I tried to offer our help in any way…. Its one of those things where ..they didnt want good advice….they wanted to stay in the fog about it rather than address the issue…… They dont discipine him and he does what he wants around the house….. This has basically ruined my relationship with my brother…..I have a 9 year old daughter and he has pushed her down… dropped his pants (like a big joke) ….. swore at her….. and I try to not say anything but the few times I have said something …It was like “I” had done something wrong. I KNOW that you aren’t suppose to say anything when it comes to how shitty someone is raising their kid but….when it affected my daughter i said something…. I dpnt think ill ever have a good relationship with my brother or his wife…. sad but true….some people are dumb asses…. family included
Posted in Discipline Advice | 2 Comments »
November 27th, 2011
Question:
My best friends daughter is truly a spoiled brat. She is 7 years old and my friend does not discipline her whatsoever. She throws temper tantrums, talks back, blantantly lies, is rude to adults and people she doesn’t know, and is beyond disrespectful. I love kids and I work with the developmentally disabled, so I have an unsually high tolerance and well developed patience, but I want to slap this child! Its getting to the point where if my friend has her daughter with her, I don’t want to be around her. I’m getting married in the fall and my friend wants me to give her daughter a job in the wedding, but really, I don’t want her to be around any of my guests because I’m afraid that she’ll be rude and offend someone. On the flip side, I almost want to give her a job just so she’ll be busy doing something and not bothering me or my friend (who’s a bridesmaid). She’s a single mom and wants her daughter to be at the wedding b/c her daughter thinks of me as an aunt. Any advice?
Posted in Discipline Advice | 17 Comments »
November 26th, 2011
Question:
My son got caught with marijuana at school, got suspended, grades are failing. Lack of motivation, disrespectful. I being the father has visitation rights every other week and my son lives 50 miles away. He lives where drugs are a major problem at school and neighborhood. I want him to get help but the mother has not done a thing. After his suspension, he returned back to the same school, but is grounded. He needs psychological help, needs a father fighure, and needs someone that can discipline and teach him the right way. His mom (ex girl friend), puts no effort. What can I do legally? Can I go to child services? He is in 10th grade. I cannot stand there and do nothing. I cannot sleep worrying about my son. Please give advice to father. What can I do to make the mother be more proactive. I feel like a helpless father. Thank you
Posted in Discipline Advice | 4 Comments »
November 25th, 2011
Question:
Looking for recommendations on a good child development book / on how to be a good mom to a 3-year-old who’s driving me crazy! Unique problem, I know!
He’s really intelligent for his age, and I think that’s part of our problem. He talks really well, so I often forget how old he really is emotionally.
I’m running into behavioral issues because he doesn’t respond to discipline – he puts himself in time out. I feel like I have tried everything – even resorting to putting him in time out in the bathroom. Ha, ha.
Please help! – Even if you don’t have a book suggestion advice would be helpful.
Posted in Discipline Advice | 2 Comments »
November 23rd, 2011
Question:
I have a child who I think could possibly be gifted ( going by other siblings ) but comes across as slow.
I have seen her art, I have seen her math skills, I have seen her writing all of which she seems to be “struggling with”
She seems to have in the back of her mind to not try, I have seen myself she is capable of so much more than what she does but she chooses not to.
If someone does better than her she withdraws from that, as in art she drew a picture and a younger child did a better one… it is very hard to get her to pick up a crayon now.
She used to be very withdrawn and not join in with any activity until this year she wants to do everything but if she can’t do it without trying she won’t do it.
She is missing out on so much, I’m not sure if she has a problem or if it is just a case of discipline ( as in I always tell her that everything is great or she gets really extremely upset )
Advice please.
Thank you Mickey, I have tried encouraging her I’ve showed her drawings she did when she was three, and she looks away, I have tried explaining that she has to try at things she can’t expect to just do it but she continues not to try. I’m afraid she may get held back because she isn’t trying. 
Posted in Discipline Advice | 2 Comments »