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June 3, 2010 at 12:58 am
You can watch Supernanny for some awesome tips.
I’m a kid and have a little sister that loves having temper tantrums? What do you do? Ignore him/her because sooner or later they’ll realize they’re not getting what they want and they’ll stop. Also, you can put them in a time out and keep on forcing them to stay in time out no matter how many time they’ll try to escape.
Hope this helps!
June 3, 2010 at 1:51 am
well i can only speak from experience and i find the best way to stop them is to ignore them!!
if you fuss about a child having a tantrum, they construed that as attention and negative attention is not your goal.
you only give praise and attention to a child that can behave and listen. children that continually have tantrums to get what they want should get no attention at all. that way they make their own conclusions that good behavior equals attention….bad behavior does not!!
that’s how it works in my house
June 3, 2010 at 2:31 am
With toddler age children you can’t stop it not once the tantrum takes hold.Toddlers can’t regulate their emotions or control them all you can do is try to avoid potential triggers and offer love when they are upset or try and distract them but that isn’t always going to work.
Older children have more control but there are lots of reasons why they might get into a tantrum.Maybe they are starved of attention and feel they need to be loud or act out in order to gain it or maybe they have a real source of frustration in their lives and lashing out is the only relief.So how to stop it would vary they should know it’s ok to cry and vent and parents should offer sympathy and help them through any issues so as to avoid things in the future.Each situation will vary.
June 3, 2010 at 2:54 am
You know it depends on the kid and the situation. For example if I am in the store and my child throws a fit because she wants something and can’t have it I do two things. I tell her no and then I sympathize with her. Sometimes that will work, you stick to your guns do not give in to what they want, yet be loving and caring at the same time, hug them and be understanding. However if this does not work and they get worse then we leave, go home and do time out. Afterwords I will hug her and try to explain to her that just because she is angry does not mean she can behave in that manor. Time out works wonders for temper tantrums if nothing else is working and I have two types of time out.
They usually say you should do a minute per age however this only works if you have a timer you can set right next to them that way they will know that they did not get out of timeout for throwing a fit( lets say you put a three year old in timeout, do you really think they are going to be done screaming and crying in three minutes??? NO. So what will happen if you let them out and you don’t have a timer right next to them that they can visually see and hear ding. They will think that they got their way and that you let them out because they were throwing a fit and therefore will be more likely to not stop throwing a fit next time because they think you will let them out of time out for it. Now if you have a timer right next to them and you make sure that they know that they can only get out of time out when it dings and their time is up, then they won’t associate getting out of timeout with the fact that they were throwing a fit instead they will associate it with when the timer dings.
That is why I have two types of time outs, if I am somewhere that I absolutely don’t have a timer or anything else I can use and they need a timeout then I don’t go by age or time. I go buy whether or not they stop having a temper tantrum. So that they will not think that oh mom let me out because I was screaming. I will wait until they are quite.
So like I said, Be strong, say No, Sympathize, and if that does not help Timeout, and then Re sympathize again.
Oh and there is one more really important thing that needs to be done, and by sympathizing instead of getting mad you are already doing this, teach your child the proper way to express their anger. That is why they are having a temper tantrum in the first place, they are angry and don’t know any other way to express their anger. So instead of becoming angry with them, keeping your cool and trying to be compassionate and understanding while letting them know that it is not acceptable to kick and scream when you are angry is helping to guide and shape how they will react when they are older and become angry. Try talking to them and saying I know you’re mad that you can’t have that toy I’m so sorry that you are angry but I love you anyways. Teach them to verbally show their emotion in a healthy way i.e. not cussing, hitting, kicking, screaming or throwing, instead teach them to say mom I’m so mad or sad and it is okay to cry too.
Remember anger is an emotion not a behavior, and how they behave when they are angry depends on how you teach them to behave, and they see how you behave when you are angry too as well.
It is so easy to become angry yourself when your kid is having a temper tantrum and you can’t get them to stop right away, but if you become mad and lose your cool what is that going to teach your toddler to do. Don’t fight Anger with Anger, or as the Bible puts it Don’t fight Evil with Evil.
June 3, 2010 at 3:43 am
I never dealt with it too much with my daughter. She will be 4 in a week. When she flares up, I just leave her, ignore it, and don’t feed her fuel. She recognizes that it gets her nowhere. My son is 17 months old. So far, he hasn’t had one…but he has a more stubborn personality. He may try harder at the tantrums…but hopefully, he will also see that it gets him nothing.