December 4th, 2011
Question:
My MIL is in the middle of a divorce w/her husband. They have a 7 yr old daughter who is a complete daddy’s girl b/c he gives her EVERYTHING she wants. No discipline @ all, he undermines her authority in front of her, has called her profane names in the childs presence, etc…The separation agreement states he can occupy the garage (his office – self employed) until 3pm, but he is there until 6, 7, sometimes 10pm. He vents to their daughter about how her mother won’t let him in the house and it’s all her (mom) fault that he can’t stay the night and that this whole thing is going on. He is a complete drunk and spends all his free time at a bar. He talks smack about my MIL’s family constantly (and in front of the child) and is a complete As&*(#$! What can she do outside of taking him to court? I’m talking “think outside of the box”. I seriously want to make this guys life hell for doing this to my family! He is a compulsive liar and fills his daughters head w/ lies about her mom’s side of the family! Please give me some good advice (other than normal legal stuff).
Posted in Discipline Advice | 6 Comments »
December 3rd, 2011
Question:
My son turned 3 in March and over the last 1 1/2 months, he has become horrible behavior wise. EVERYTHING is “NO, or I DON”T WANT TO. He screams about everything, fights with his older brother, throws things and absolutely refuses to go on the potty. Don’t bother telling me I need to discipline him because I am a firm believer in time-outs and doing what it takes for him to understand his behavior is NOT acceptable but nothing seems to affect him. He was such a wonderful child before he turned 3 and I always received compliments on how well behaved he was. Not the case anymore.
I just had a baby which friends tell me is a big contributing factor to his behavior. I am just beyond frustrated and don’t know what to do. Any advice?
Posted in Discipline Advice | 7 Comments »
December 2nd, 2011
Question:
I live in Texas, and according to Penal Code 9.62, it states:
EDUCATOR-STUDENT. The use of force, but not deadly force, against a person is justified:
(1) if the actor is entrusted with the care, supervision, or administration of the person for a special purpose;
and
(2) when and to the degree the actor reasonably
believes the force is necessary to further the special purpose or to
maintain discipline in a group.
My son was at school and was refusing to do his school work. He is a special needs child and just lost his only Uncle the day before Thanksgiving. He has been having a tough time and had a bad day. Two teachers, and the Principle, held him down against a desk to “Physically prompt” him to do his work. They even wrote a note home that says this is what happen. My son is COVERED in bruises and said he cried for them to stop because it hurt. I have alerted the Media, called police, taken photos and video and now coming here to get advice. The cop told me it was “legal to beat your kids” in Texas…no, really, he said he thought it was “the best law in Texas”. And he told me that the teachers had the right to do what they felt necessary to get him to comply to their rules! Here are some of his injuries:
(The bruises on wrist were from where they were grabbing/holding so hard to force the pencil in his hand)
http://c2.ac-images.myspacecdn.com/images02/11/l_0d5a67bd93ac4e1b8ba420c942e21c21.jpg
http://c4.ac-images.myspacecdn.com/images02/22/l_4e600135a7e34ef3a49d78dafc2fdcef.jpg
http://c1.ac-images.myspacecdn.com/images02/60/l_be251fd473894b879a8f37d3132f3d90.jpg
http://c1.ac-images.myspacecdn.com/images02/19/l_7866f8df201e489a94dc5d3642916788.jpg
http://c3.ac-images.myspacecdn.com/images02/19/l_b5639d0fb9da4c8b803a48676aa6f81e.jpg
http://c4.ac-images.myspacecdn.com/images02/6/l_b184c110e9464f32b9283977f90fcd4f.jpg
My son was not needing to be restrained, he just simply told the teachers he was not doing classwork because he was depressed; they then physically made him to it, leaving injuries while he was kicking and screaming and begging them to stop. He was not a threat to himself or anyone. I have had 4 cops restrain him, sedate him, and put cuffs on him; my husband and I have restrained him many times (all pre-medication, now he never needs to be restrained); yet NEVER has he been bruised or hurt in the process.
He had already been home an entire week; they said he had to come back or I was going to jail.
Jake, thank you! And I did remove him from school this morning. Now I wish I lived in the UK…lol
Posted in Discipline Advice | 4 Comments »
December 1st, 2011
Question:
I have two children 4 and 2. I have spanked in the past – I don’t like it, it hasn’t worked for our family, and I don’t want to do it, I’m over that. I need some advice as I’m having some disciplining issues.
Here’s the latest example:
Kids: Can we go outside to play?
Me: Sure, you’ll just need to pick up all of these mega blocks first.
Kids ignore me
1 minute later: If you want to go outside, you need to pick up these mega blocks, please do it now so we can go out.
Ignored again.
Me: Guess we can’t go outside to play.
Kids seem to not care and move on.
Me: If you don’t pick up these mega blocks now, they are going in the donation box (they know that what this mean – they are no longer their toys and will be given away).
Kids: start to pick them up. get most of them picked up, I go in and check and 2 minutes later my 2 year old has dumped them out again.
Not fair to put them in the donation box now as my 4 year old *did* finally pick them up, but 2 year old sister dumped them.
A daily issue we have is them picking up their toys in general. I’ve threatened to donate them/toss them if they don’t pick them up. My 4 year old *literally* says to me – that’s okay, you can throw them away, then I don’t have to pick them up.” – GRRRRR.
I want to scream and pull my hair out. I know, I know “welcome to motherhood”. This is a daily battle of them not listening to what I ask of them the first time. This is, of course, just one small example. I’m losing my patience. Tips anyone?
des – oh, no, i would never literally throw them away – I threatened to throw them in the garbage once (and I would’ve put them in a garbage bag only to retrieve them and donate them when he wasn’t looking, lol). I suppose even telling him I was going to throw them away isn’t setting the best example for non-wastefulness though, lol!
Yeah – that’s an issue – they seem to not care when I take things away – so that’s not really working either. Maybe that means they have far too many toys? Or they are not appreciative?
Posted in Discipline Advice | 11 Comments »
November 30th, 2011
Question:
She started preschool a month ago and since then her behaviour has become worse. She has always been strong willed but never to the point that I didn’t know what to do. Now when she comes home at the end of the day she is cranky and irritable and if something doesn’t go her way she goes into a full fledged tantrum. I’ve done time outs, but they only seem to make it worse. (I also have a younger child so it’s hard to discipline one while I’m trying to change a diaper or feed the youngest). my husband works in the day and sometimes when she throws these tantrums I just feel so overwhelmed and lonely. Yesterday she had one that included throwing a toy at the tv, hitting me, crying and yelling, getting up from time out numerous times, etc. I miss her when she’s at preschool, and all I want is to bring her home and play with her and have a good time and not have it turn in to a battle. Since time outs don’t seem to help, and I will never hit her, I need some advice. We skipped the terrible twos completely but it seems to have hit now at 3. I love my girl more than life but she can drain me sometimes. Should I try taking away a favorite toy for a day? Or what? I’m so overwhelmed some times and I want to do the right thing, and not mess my kid up or create a problem kid! How is it that she’s three years old and I STILL don’t know what I’m doing?
Any suggestions?
Posted in Discipline Advice | 4 Comments »
November 29th, 2011
Question:
I am the mother of a boy that will be five in March next year, the trouble is he’s obsessed with me. Since he was born I have always been there for him, providing food and clothing, giving him both the discipline as needed and the security too basically being the only one to take care of him. Now he loves his mommy and doesn’t like his daddy at all, when they are together no matter what my husbands attempts of getting affection from him are, my son simply refuses. Like tonight was horrible, my son has this habit lately of picking his nose, and well he picked his nose and went to get a kleenex, he walked up to daddy first like he was going to give him a hug, my husband looks at him and says “oh you want a hug” but instead of hugging him he wiped a booger on his shirt. Well that made my husband very angry so he got punished. Then after that they spent the entire night arguing back and forth like siblings rather than being adult and child. It’s getting exhausting almost like my son doesn’t want his father around and like my husband doesn’t forgive him when he gets in trouble. Anyone have advice?
Posted in Discipline Advice | 5 Comments »
November 29th, 2011
Question:
that his a trouble child(6yrs old) and they already LABEL him…ofcourse in child mind if someone label you…you start what your doing what they think of you….as a parent…what step should you make?? transfer your son on a different school…or let him stay to that school?? i mean i discipline him and he listen to me and his day care but not in school….advice pls
Posted in Discipline Advice | 12 Comments »
November 28th, 2011
Question:
My wife is a special ed major and has been a teacher for over 20 years……When my brother and his wife had their first child it was apparent that something was wrong with his at about age 3. My wife and I were there and were prepared to help and be supportive. As time went on ..it was obvious that they were not prepared to address this. Time passed and much to our horror my brother and his wife kept their head in the sand. When the child was 7-8 years old they started to come around and realize they needed to get him some help. We played the game and never said anything because we knew it would just upset them. My wife was horrified by the fact that time was slipping away and the kid needed help….When they finally decided that he probably had a problem ( or were ready to admit it)….He was 9 …… He is Oppositional Defiant and does very unexceptable things at every chance he gets…..It isnt his fault,but some of his actions are not good… dropping his pants in front of others ….swearing…hitting……and he doesnt listen or sometimes even aknowlege his parents…. they do little to discipline him…and use Playstation as a babysitter most times…….He is my only brother….my wife is disgusted with them …and so am I really…..When it was all out on the table about his having aspergers….My wife and I tried to offer our help in any way…. Its one of those things where ..they didnt want good advice….they wanted to stay in the fog about it rather than address the issue…… They dont discipine him and he does what he wants around the house….. This has basically ruined my relationship with my brother…..I have a 9 year old daughter and he has pushed her down… dropped his pants (like a big joke) ….. swore at her….. and I try to not say anything but the few times I have said something …It was like “I” had done something wrong. I KNOW that you aren’t suppose to say anything when it comes to how shitty someone is raising their kid but….when it affected my daughter i said something…. I dpnt think ill ever have a good relationship with my brother or his wife…. sad but true….some people are dumb asses…. family included
Posted in Discipline Advice | 2 Comments »
November 28th, 2011
Question:
My wife is a special ed major and has been a teacher for over 20 years……When my brother and his wife had their first child it was apparent that something was wrong with his at about age 3. My wife and I were there and were prepared to help and be supportive. As time went on ..it was obvious that they were not prepared to address this. Time passed and much to our horror my brother and his wife kept their head in the sand. When the child was 7-8 years old they started to come around and realize they needed to get him some help. We played the game and never said anything because we knew it would just upset them. My wife was horrified by the fact that time was slipping away and the kid needed help….When they finally decided that he probably had a problem ( or were ready to admit it)….He was 9 …… He is Oppositional Defiant and does very unexceptable things at every chance he gets…..It isnt his fault,but some of his actions are not good… dropping his pants in front of others ….swearing…hitting……and he doesnt listen or sometimes even aknowlege his parents…. they do little to discipline him…and use Playstation as a babysitter most times…….He is my only brother….my wife is disgusted with them …and so am I really…..When it was all out on the table about his having aspergers….My wife and I tried to offer our help in any way…. Its one of those things where ..they didnt want good advice….they wanted to stay in the fog about it rather than address the issue…… They dont discipine him and he does what he wants around the house….. This has basically ruined my relationship with my brother…..I have a 9 year old daughter and he has pushed her down… dropped his pants (like a big joke) ….. swore at her….. and I try to not say anything but the few times I have said something …It was like “I” had done something wrong. I KNOW that you aren’t suppose to say anything when it comes to how shitty someone is raising their kid but….when it affected my daughter i said something…. I dpnt think ill ever have a good relationship with my brother or his wife…. sad but true….some people are dumb asses…. family included
Posted in Discipline Advice | 2 Comments »
November 27th, 2011
Question:
My best friends daughter is truly a spoiled brat. She is 7 years old and my friend does not discipline her whatsoever. She throws temper tantrums, talks back, blantantly lies, is rude to adults and people she doesn’t know, and is beyond disrespectful. I love kids and I work with the developmentally disabled, so I have an unsually high tolerance and well developed patience, but I want to slap this child! Its getting to the point where if my friend has her daughter with her, I don’t want to be around her. I’m getting married in the fall and my friend wants me to give her daughter a job in the wedding, but really, I don’t want her to be around any of my guests because I’m afraid that she’ll be rude and offend someone. On the flip side, I almost want to give her a job just so she’ll be busy doing something and not bothering me or my friend (who’s a bridesmaid). She’s a single mom and wants her daughter to be at the wedding b/c her daughter thinks of me as an aunt. Any advice?
Posted in Discipline Advice | 17 Comments »