Archive for ‘Discipline Advice’

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December 13th, 2011

TRICKY situation! 4 year old — very inquisitive and honest; comments come out as rude. Best way to handle?

Question:
I’m the nanny, her parents would like advice.

What is the best way to handle/discipline an honest, inquisitive 4 year old girl who blurts out, to any random person, whatever comes to mind?? She is “accidentally” brutally honest…I like to say haha.

Examples of what the child blurts out:
“I like the dots on your face, can I connect the dots?” (To a random lady)
“He has dark brown skin” (To man at store)
“Brown skinned people are not allowed to give me a bath.” (To me. She was moody that night and didn’t want me to give her a bath.)

Her parents don’t want to make a big deal out of this in fear that she might understand that this is wrong and when upset lash out with hurtful words against others…

FYI. I know she means well and her parents are not racists.

Any ideas of what to do? Experiences??

Explaining that it’s hurtful does not work.

Posted in Discipline Advice | 11 Comments »

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December 12th, 2011

TRICKY situation! 4 year old — very inquisitive and honest; comes out as rude. Best way to handle?

Question:
I’m the nanny, her parents would like advice.

What is the best way to handle/discipline an honest, inquisitive 4 year old girl who blurts out, to any random person, whatever comes to mind?? She is “accidentally” brutally honest…I like to say haha.

Examples of what the child blurts out:
“I like the dots on your face, can I connect the dots?” (To a random lady)
“He has dark brown skin” (To man at store)
“Brown skinned people are not allowed to give me a bath.” (To me. She was moody that night and didn’t want me to give her a bath.)

Her parents don’t want to make a big deal out of this in fear that she might understand that this is wrong and when upset lash out with hurtful words against others…

FYI. I know she means well and her parents are not racists.

Any ideas of what to do? Experiences??
Explaining that it’s hurtful does not work.

Posted in Discipline Advice | 8 Comments »

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December 11th, 2011

Dealing with my almost 4 year old girl?

Question:
My daughter is almost four and I am watching an awful transformation. We have gone from a completely angelic baby in every way to a whiney, moaney child with horrendous selective hearing. She breaks down at any minute little thing which has been going on for months, I have tried all sorts of disciplining and more attention etc of this to no avail. She is very selfish with her brother and screeches at him and lashes out at him (he is two) I want to know if the mood swings I am witnessing are normal for her age or if there is something we are doing/not doing for her. They talk about terrible twos but I think they are easy in comparison to three and four year olds. Your advice and experience would be greatly appreciated in this matter.
HELP mums…..

P.S She is in a lovely mood today I have implemented her going to her room anytime she screeches this morning which seems to be working so far (but then it is only half way through the first day)

Posted in Discipline Advice | 6 Comments »

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December 10th, 2011

I get abuse for some stupid stuff?

Question:
I’ve been “discipline” from a father for the stupidest things since I was 7. (there were times when I did deserved it) I am 16 now and female. He calls it discipline in the family but when you hit a child with a pipe or hanger and punch them in the eyes, head, back repeatedly like you want to hurt them. Is that not abuse?

I’m a teenager and I have this moodswings. My father yells and is ignorant at times. He wants things his way. But I’m almost out of highschool and yet I’m still getting hit. Anytime I get hit or have a scar he would tell me to lie and said I just fell on the ground. I have alot of scars. I went to DSS and they tried to tell him to stop it and just ground me or do this. Not to leave a scar. But he still hits me?

Any advice?
Whether it was talking back, slamming my door, getting an issue, not saying good morning, being lazy, or not listening.

They are even kids who do the same things I do and their parents just ground them.

I did deserve some, but there are times where I cannot change who I am. I am this person and I’ll act like this person whether they like it or not.
Whether it was talking back, slamming my door, getting an issue, not saying good morning, being lazy, or not listening.

My mom doesn’t help at all. Me and her don’t have a good relationship.

I did deserve some, but there are times where I cannot change who I am. I am this person and I’ll act like this person whether they like it or not.

Posted in Discipline Advice | 6 Comments »

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December 10th, 2011

I get abuse for some stupid stuff?

Question:
I’ve been “discipline” from a father for the stupidest things since I was 7. (there were times when I did deserved it) I am 16 now and female. He calls it discipline in the family but when you hit a child with a pipe or hanger and punch them in the eyes, head, back repeatedly like you want to hurt them. Is that not abuse?

I’m a teenager and I have this moodswings. My father yells and is ignorant at times. He wants things his way. But I’m almost out of highschool and yet I’m still getting hit. Anytime I get hit or have a scar he would tell me to lie and said I just fell on the ground. I have alot of scars. I went to DSS and they tried to tell him to stop it and just ground me or do this. Not to leave a scar. But he still hits me?

Any advice?
Whether it was talking back, slamming my door, getting an issue, not saying good morning, being lazy, or not listening.

They are even kids who do the same things I do and their parents just ground them.

I did deserve some, but there are times where I cannot change who I am. I am this person and I’ll act like this person whether they like it or not.
Whether it was talking back, slamming my door, getting an issue, not saying good morning, being lazy, or not listening.

My mom doesn’t help at all. Me and her don’t have a good relationship.

I did deserve some, but there are times where I cannot change who I am. I am this person and I’ll act like this person whether they like it or not.

Posted in Discipline Advice | 6 Comments »

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December 9th, 2011

Is My Toddler Acting Normal, Or Will She Be Trouble When She Gets Older?

Question:
Hey. please i need advice from other parents out there, who have toddlers. I have a 2 year old daughter. and she is a very difficult child. i do every thing i should . i discipline her. i put her on time outs. i don’t give in when she throws her temper tantrums. but she still does it. no matter what i do. she whines all the time. she screams and cries when she doesn’t get some thing she wants. she throws the biggest fits. she honestly acts like a spoiled brat. i’m worried that she is going to grow up to be a very spoiled young girl. is this a reflection of what she will be like in the future. or is it just normal for all toddlers this age to act like this? i am really concerned. please, i need some advice. Is this just a normal toddler phase, or is it a sign that she is going to be trouble in the future?

Posted in Discipline Advice | 11 Comments »

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December 8th, 2011

Troubling Neighbors?

Question:
I live in a 4 plex apartment. The neighbors diagnol from us on the second floor have a 3 year old son that they refuse to properly discipline or care for. He has thrown everything from trash to toys to a hunting knife in our yard at our pets and is constantly screaming and slamming doors in the commons area hall. His mom has been confronted several times by us and other people in the building and she always has an excuse from “he’s too stubborn to deal with” to “I have a sleeping disorder”. She has openly admitted to being dependant on sleeping pills that she takes at all hours of the day and her husband (who is not the child’s real father) is not allowed to discipline her son, but she won’t. We have turned in a few complaints and social services and our housing director have visited, but it’s not changing. They even have friends come over at all hours and one guy came over this morning with his stereo so loud it made a car alarm go off! Any advice on how more to deal with this?
We have made formal complaints and it has not seemed to do any good. I’ve even seen this child hang off the edge of their balcony. I’m sitting there thinking where’s the mom??? I went out and told him not to do that because he could fall and get hurt. I feel bad for this kid. His mom said that the day he threw the knife into our yard, she knew he was acting up but chose not to get out of bed to stop him! I wish I would have had a tape recorder.
For those of you who say to move, we can’t. We live in a military post and my husband is going to deploy soon. I can’t move off post because the closest housing is an hour away.

Posted in Discipline Advice | 17 Comments »

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December 7th, 2011

What do I do when I’m living with little moral support?

Question:
I won’t go into detail, but here’s my deal. Basically I’m now a junior. I have only one AP class (which is AP chemistry), the rest of my 6 classes are just academic (or regular) classes. In my AP I’m making straight C’s and my other classes I’m making pretty much straight B’s. In 9th grade, my grades were mostly B’s. In 10th grade, well, 1st semester was horrible cuz I was in Marching band (but sadly I was a shadow – meaning I never marched with the band, I just carried the equipment) anyway it was time consuming and also I was in 3 pre-ap classes (english, chemistry, & algebra 2), I failed horribly in those classes, my other classes were straght B’s. In 2nd semester in 10th well I ended up being dropping out of band and my pre-ap’s, and made straight B’s in 2nd semester.I’m in art, martial arts, and community service. So now that is basically my academic story.
No heres my personal story, my dad is retired, is a diabetic patient, sometimes has anger issues, is kinda blind in one eye from a horrible eye operation from way back. He used to be a chemisty, even taught chemistry at Rice University (a semi-ivy league in TX) My mom is a house-wife, she’s not the educatating. My sister, well I’d like to think of her as Marie Antionette – a big spender of money, my dad’s retired money.
Anyways I don’t think I did well on my PSAT, which cud have helped my family from worrying about giving me money for college and all.

My house is very noisy and loud is about all I can say, without much details.

My dad knows my grades. Time to time he’ll give me lectures and sometimes even hit me for not doing well in school. Both my parents compare me to other people’s kids my age. I honestly don’t have “real” friends in school whom I cud talk to. My one best guy friend whom i met on the internet, isn’t that helpful morally speaking, he’s a very good person, but doesnt understand how bad my situation is, keeps saying its gonna be ok, without talking my out of it and which is not the moral support I was really looking for.

I wanna go to a good college. I wanna study well. I wanna be able to concentrate. I wanna get into to med school someday.

High school for me is just hard. I one time did spend a year in an all girls boarding school in 7th grade. I was the top of the class, cuz I learned to have better discipline, i wasn’t treated like a child like I am here with my family.

Anyways, what hopes are there for me, if I’m living like this with little moral support? I know high school isnt the end of the world, but right now, thats how it feels like – probably cuz my parents keep telling me that i’m ruining my future and that I’ll be dead one of these days. I certainly don’t want to go to community college, but honestly I don’t know how hard it is to transfer from an ok college for freshmen year to a better college (if not Ivy-league)? I know very little about scholarships, I’m not sure how they’re done. Anyways, whats the best advice you cud offer that wud help me out alot? Plz don’t answer if u don’t know.

Posted in Discipline Advice | 3 Comments »

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December 6th, 2011

When should I have another baby?

Question:
So this is the deal my husband and I have a beautiful 2 1/2 year old baby girl or big girl as she likes to call herself :) . This is the situation my husband already has two boys from a previous relationship oldest will be 7 this year and the other 4. Now I have taken them under my wing and love them very much but I want another for me I know we have “3 kids” but I will always have had only one child. I have asked my husband for another but he really doesn’t want one. I have been a house wife for awhile raising our daughter and helping with his boys when he was deployed but lately I want another. (Im going back to school soon) Well The other day he said once I get my finish with school and work for like a year we can have another and that excited me but…. That is like 3 to 4 years from now our youngest will be 6 almost 7 by then I don’t think I would want another. All the kids will be in school. So should I have one now? Or do think after that long I will want another. I was also thinking that is a big gap between the kids. There is a big gap between my younger brother and sister and me. I feel my mom raised me way more harsh than she is with them now. So what im saying is if I wait that long I don’t want that to be the slacker kid the one we don’t discipline as hard… I don’t know advice please!

Posted in Discipline Advice | 2 Comments »

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December 5th, 2011

How can I get custody of my son?

Question:
Roughly 6 years ago I was working out of state when I met this woman (mid 30′s) at a restaurant. Long story short, we had a few to many drinks and you know the rest. One month later, I received a phone call that she was pregnant. Once the child was born I had a paternity test completed and I was granted a son. Everything has went well over the first 3 years; I had him every other weekend since the age of 5 weeks, and paid a reasonable child support by mutual agreement. In spite of our immature judgment that led to her getting pregnant, we maturely recognized we weren’t compatible for husband and wife. Never the less, I continued to maintain a business like relationship. We see him 4 days a month which is ever other weekend. She did eventually get married and that’s when the problem started. The husband, though not as ambitious and as smart, is a nice guy. The problem exist due to the lack of structure and discipline within her household. It has gotten so bad that it is carrying over to school and affecting his personality. I’ve contacted the teachers and principles and they have reconfirmed my thoughts that their is no discipline or any structure what so ever in their home. After discussing this with my son’s mom, the response I received was “Well, I think he is AD HD so I’ve brought him to a Psychiatrist”. We have joint legal custody and she never told me one word about the visits to the therapist prior to this. I am really concerned that if this continues it will permanently damage my sons life. On his weekend visits he cries not to go home, he says he wants to stay with us longer (Us is Me, my wife and our new baby) On top of all of that she has been after me for more child support. Now, one thing I didn’t mention about the step father is, he considers himself an artist because he makes little plaster sculptures of odd things like fiction characters and even my son. He doesn’t work because he says he’s trying to sell his art. Please give me any advice I don’t want to see my child on any unnecessary medication and want to give him the best chance possible to be a successful man in the future.

Posted in Discipline Advice | 5 Comments »

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