May 23rd, 2011
Question:
Okay well I am in school right now working on a degree in nursing. However.I have no desire for it other then the money and wearing cute smocks and good job placements . I thought about being a teacher but negative people around me made comments about how much I struggle at being a single parent and how I could never handle 30 if I can hardly handle 2. I am at a complete lost! I took a career aptitude test and oddly enough nurse and teacher were at the bottom of the list. I did have a 94% in art. I love being creative and decorating etc. I am in my second yr and I don’t waste another.I have been excepted into a science course I needed for nursing for this spring.but I need advice before I go any further!! Anyone ???? All input would be appreciated !!!
Posted in Advice for Single Parents | 4 Comments »
May 22nd, 2011
Question:
I’m only 21yrs old but I’ve been smoking since I was 11-12yrs old. This has been a very trying past year. I lost my mother, my husband just recently got home from his 3rd deployment which caused me to become a first time single parent January 2009. I literally smoke a cigarette every hour and I can feel the effect it’s had on my body. I’m only 21yrs old and I feel like an old woman.
My mother died of emphyzema November 30th 2009…she was only 52yrs old. I use to love singing…my husband wanted me to pursue it….but due to smoking I no longer have the lung capacity for it…I’m only 21yrs old!
I want to at least cut back for now and quit down the road…I want to take it slow because I get stressed out very easily. With my husband being in the Army we have excellent medical insurance and they offer quitting aids for free but you have to attend a class. Being a SAHM on a military base I don’t have anyone near that I trust to watch my daughter and with my husband’s profession I can’t always rely on him to watch her…though he would gladly if he was able to.
I need advice on how to cut back. I’m tired of it running my life and I need to do this right now for my family and my daughter especially. I don’t want her to deal with what I’ve been through with my mother…slowly watching her pass. I wanna be able to keep up with her and be around until I’m 100yrs old which I’m sure won’t be possible with what damage has already been done. Sorry it’s so long…this is a very hard personal issue for me. Someome please give me advice and support!
I meant my mother passed Nov 30 2008
Posted in Advice for Single Parents | 5 Comments »
May 22nd, 2011
Question:
I am a 26 year old single mother to a 21 month old with a decent paying job but I am having a hard time making ends meet. I am currently working with a program to pay off my debts and I feel once this is cleared up I will be in a much better position but right now I am living paycheck to paycheck and just scraping by. I currently have not filed for child support from my son’s father, although I would love the assistance, I am scared to file. The attorney general webiste for my state says that if you file for court ordered child support the non-custodial parent may file for court ordered visitation at that time. I don’t want a court to tell me what is best for my son. I have worked very very hard to maintain a stable, loving and secure environment for my son even through his father and I seperating several months ago. After all, the first three years of a child’s life are the most important. In my son’s life, if I had to count, he has been with his father alone maybe three times and that is not by my doing, his father just has more important things going on. I feel our current set up is working well for my son, his father comes over to see him on a weeknight. I have offered nights on the weekend also to visit as I am always home and I support a relationship between my son and his dad, unfortunately he has only taken advantage of it once or twice.
What should I do?
Thank you everyone so far for your advice! I know the economy sucks right now and everyone is struggling. I am not the type of person to mooch off of anyone and I rarely take assitance and prefer to do it myself, I guess that is why I am struggling so much with this. I encourage my son to have a relationship with his father. I really do, I do not keep him from his dad in any way. I insist on including him on everything, including inviting him to participate in special events and just every day life. His father is not a bad person necessarily and I am not opposed to him even keeping him overnight a little later when he is older and understands more. I just feel right now he is still young and I want to keep confusion and anxities to a minimum. =) thanks again!
Posted in Advice for Single Parents | 17 Comments »
May 21st, 2011
Question:
First let me tell you i am already a mother of three children. I have a four year old boy and one year old twin girls. I am a nanny to my brother and sister(my father’s second marriage) who are 8 and 11 years old. Their mother is now a single parent who owns her own biz. She is taking a new job working with a company out of massachusetts. She will be traveling at least once or twice a month. They will be at my house with me 24/7 at least half the month if not more. I raise them like my own kids. She is currently paying me $525.00 a month after taxes and pays for pizza every friday night. She also contributes at least $200.00 a month towards the food bill. I don’t want to take advantage but, i want to be paid fair. Keep in mind they are my brother and sister!! I love being a mother and love having them around. I going to have a sit down with her soon and don’t know how much to ask for ! Does any one have any advice for me?
keep in mind she makes six figures and i raide her kids!
plus she gets 1,200.00 a month for child support from our father who is on SSI and is mentally unstable.
Posted in Advice for Single Parents | 5 Comments »
May 20th, 2011
Question:
I am a 30 year old single parent that is going back to school. I am having a difficult time deciding whether to get an Associate’s Degree is Business Admin or jump right into a Bachelor’s in Computer Science (Managment Information Systems). I know in the long run a 4 year degree would be worth more, but Im afraid I will get half way into it and it will be too difficult or I will get burnt out. I would like to enroll in classes for November so I need some advice quick!!!! Please help
Posted in Advice for Single Parents | 7 Comments »
May 19th, 2011
Question:
It hurts me to even say that. I am 27 years old. I had a baby when I was 18 and I have been a single parent since he was 3. I am often so depressed about my life because I am struggling and broke all the time. I am going to school but I don’t even have an AA yet because I have to work to take care of us. Sometimes I wish I never had him because I know I would have finished school a long time ago and be set in my career. I feel guilty for having these thoughts but I can’t help it. On top of all this I do not have much patience. I am always frustrated and annoyed with him. He is so hyperactive and he makes crazy noises all the time. He bounces off the walls and does not listen. These behaviours he has definitely encourage me to dream about a life without him. Don’t get me wrong, I am incapable of doing anything stupid. I do think that if he weren’t so annoying I wouldn’t daydream about how I screwed up my life so much and wish it was different. I don’t know what to do. I don’t have the passion that a mother should have. I can’t make myself care anymore. I feel so apathetic towards him now… like I burnt out a long time ago. Please don’t be mean; I am really trying to seek genuine advice. So, what should I do? Help!
I was married to his father but he took off and left the state when our son was 3 and I haven’t seen him since. He does not pay child support because he always works under the table.
My parents live an hour away in a small town (I would live there too, but there are no universities)… I told them how I have been feeling and they have offered to help by letting him live with them for a little while. I could still see him on weekends, so am thinking about it.
Thank you to those who have said kind and supportive words. I do know I love my son. If I didn’t love him I would not be seeking help. I am just extremely overwhelmed and stressed out and disappointed in myself for not meeting up to my own standards.
Please continue to respond to this question as I am looking for as much advice as I can get. 
Posted in Advice for Single Parents | 16 Comments »
May 18th, 2011
Question:
Well life has been on the fast track for a month or two, the car broke down causing me to rely on public transportation, which is tiresome, expensive, and complicated when with a 3.5 year old.
Money has been tight with Christmas near.
College and the 4 classes I am taking are never ending, and I never seem to have time.
Play time with me and my little one is cut short due to early bed night preparation which is due to the broken down car.
Well my preschooler loves to run and laugh when I try to dress her, or put her to bed and this really agitates me. I resort to using my firm voice which most of the time makes her laugh harder. We live in an apartment and I try my best to prevent her from running across the floors.
She is now more whiny, repeats everything I say, stubborn, and gets into her “I am not you friend” mode.
I am a single parent, and the work is double. I just want to be back to normal, to not being so uptight, busy, and rushed. I feel horrible sometimes because I get agitated easily, and when I do my daughter says “Nice, mommy.”
I just figure when the semester is over, it will get better. Any Advice?
Posted in Advice for Single Parents | 6 Comments »
May 18th, 2011
Question:
See..A few weeks before school ended i was walking home and i got followed and mugged by a couple of upperclassmen who go to my high school.(i was a freshmen)since then it seems i’ve been a little traumatized by it, it’s getting in the way of my social life. too afraid to go to the mall, and stuff :\….can’t really talk about it with anyone..mother is a single parent since i was age 2 and my sister is in college, (assuming that she’d care), adn what guy talks to his buds about this kinda stuff???
well..yea…i’m also afraid the effect may be permanent
and might get in the way me getting and holding my 1st job i’m planning to get this upcoming summer, since my mother doesn’t drive
and i’m too young to have a permit yet =.= (yes i really want to get a license, i think it would help a lot)
i’ll take any advice seeing as how the school year starts again tomorrow
Posted in Advice for Single Parents | 2 Comments »
May 17th, 2011
Question:
Im 20, I have just found out i am 6 weeks pregnant and so scared!! I really don’t know what to do at the moment. The father is 28 and so far being kind of nice and supportive. I really think he believes im going to have an abortion as we havent been seeing each other long. I know this would be a huge shock to all of my friends and everyone who knows me!! I really don’t know what to do or who to turn to!!! I just want to know if you really do have a life after having a baby as a single parent because i really cant see the father sticking around for long!!… The pregnancy was unplanned i was on the pill when i conceived. I need all the advice i can get Thanks x
Posted in Advice for Single Parents | 11 Comments »
May 16th, 2011
Question:
Ok. I just started her in counseling, because I will admit we have not had an easy life since she was born and she has suffered some major traumas. I have really tried as a parent, to help her overcome this, provide stability for her life the past 3 years and otherwise nurture/discipline these areas I have seen as problems. She has absolutely no respect for me whatsoever. She absolutely refuses to accept me, as a single parent, in the disciplinary and nurturing role simultaneously. No form of actual discipline (time outs, ignoring bad behaviors & praising good behaviors) seems to work. Her father was somewhere in between a Narcissist and a Sociopath. She has many, many traits of his. It was confirmed in therapy this is, indeed, highly genetic. Today, I visited with her teacher because my daughter has suddenly lost interest in school. The teacher said the only “problem” with her recently has been she has caught my daughter claiming another child has hit her, or been “mean” to her, or even lying about having toys, etc. and the teacher has “called” her on this. My child has always been an angel at school, and is a pet because she behaves so well and all who work with her find her an absolute delight. She adored her teacher, now she doesn’t want to go to school. I am scared it’s because the teacher “saw through” the little miss innocent image and saw my daughter’s true side. My daughter bears huge resentment for anyone who sees this, including me.
She is highly manipulative, very controlling, and very, very demanding. All attention must be on her all the time. When I am busy, she will intentionally engage in bad behaviors to get negative attention, that escalate the more I ignore her. Once I express a desire to spend positive time with her, she wants nothing to do with me.
I am highly concerned about this Narcissistic/Sociopathic tendency. Has anyone on here had experience with this in young children and have any advice to offer? I’m truly at my wits end and very concerned about my daughter.
What nerve!!! Of course I love my daughter, or I wouldn’t be trying to help her. I wouldn’t have spent 5 years denying this could be a personality disorder she inherited from her father if I truly was simply carrying on the “hatred” it is assumed I have for her dad. FYI, her dad also had extremely wonderful qualities such as a happy spirit, loving music, artistic and was extremely intelligent just like my daughter. I focused on those qualities rather than “blaming” or “hating” my daughter for the negative.
Posted in Advice for Single Parents | 3 Comments »